I am struggling at the moment

[BlueBay]

It's so nice to see you on here @Former-Member I've missed you ❤️

Hope you've been doing ok. How are your kids? 

Take care and agsin so nice to see you on here. 😊

❤️BB xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜🌹💕 @Teej @Former-Member ....

[Teej]

Omg @Former-Member. I don’t remember writing that at all. I even thought I’d been a good girl and went to sleep about 11. Had no idea I was up until 2 😳😖😞

 looks like I had a ramble. I hope today is ok for you. 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

@Teej just thinking of you, wondering how your day has been and sending you these 💗💗

[Teej]

Thanks @CheerBear. I pretty much imploded today 😨. Hovering around the forum just now but just scared all round. Trying to self soothe and get through the night. Sorry there is not much cheer here. More just bear trying to not destroy anything. 

Its made me smile to see you back though. And Zoe. There seems some peace back in forum land. You were very much missed. 

How are fishes? 

Im so scared of getting through the night without making things worse 😢😨

[CheerBear]

Oh imploded isn't an ideal thing to have happened @Teej. Hugs. How have you spent your afternoon?

I'm not hugely cheery either and have been hovering too. I'm poking my head up and out where it feels good for now.

My fish are OK enough thanks. They were super busting excited to see me then pretty shattered when I told them I was going back in. We rode it out though and they're OK again now. They're getting themselves ready to watch a movie at the moment.

Scared is also not so nice. I'll be here for a bit if you'd like some company.

[Teej]

I dragged myself to group @CheerBear. Only made the last half hour but it was ok. Had taken dog with me so I couldn’t do anything stupid after and would have to get him home safely. Ended up a mess after group and called CATT knowing I was battling lots of bad thoughts of what I’d do as soon as I got home. It helped a bit to help me be a bit more accountable. I’m home and trying to pull through without self medicating. I have no idea what happened last night or what I actually took or didn’t take. It’s a bit scary when you lose hours. I know after last night I can’t afford to do that again even though I very much want to. That’s my rave. 

Im glad little fish are ok. I bet it was lovely to see them. In a months time chances are they won’t remember how long you were gone for. I’ll leave you to enjoy movie time with them and have lots of hugs. Thanks for asking. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💜💜 @Teej .....

Out with my crew now.  Will be looking for you later.

[CheerBear]

That sounds like a pretty full on day @Teej but it also sounds like you were really sensible and have put things in place to help you. I love that you took dog to group to make sure you would be safe.

I can imagine it would be have been maybe confronting to read back and see last night if you didn't remember it. I lost hours this night two weeks ago. I know where I was and that I didn't move at the time but they just disappeared. It was scary enough without the kinds of questions you might be asking yourself (I was just sitting still in my car).

It was lovely to see my littles but it had the big guilt thing attached to it. Not so much because I'm going back but more because of how close I was to tipping right over. It's a much needed wake up call in a way maybe.

I'll hug tv watchers and be floating about too 💗

[Shaz51]

Ohhhhhh @Former-Member, my friend foreverrrrrrrr