Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[tyme]

How are you @Stargirl ?

I was passing through and thinking about you.

[Stargirl]

Hi 😊 Thank you for thinking of me. Much better than when I last checked in thanks to a good session with my lovely counsellor. How are you 'travelling'? 

[Stargirl]

Hello @tyme and @Appleblossom I am doing okay. Daughter actually contacted me yesterday after almost a week of silence. She was high. I just listened and I told her I loved her and believed in her and that I would never give up on her. She knows that. She was thankful and teary. She said she loved me and didn't want me to see her because she doesn't want to hurt me or get me into trouble. I said I was here for her and if she changed her mind I'd come and see her.  She told me she understands that she might likely die from taking alot of substances. She wasn't trying to shock me (after everything I've been through with her, nothing shocks me anymore). She was being truthful and realistic of her awful circumstances. I'm just so sad and want to take her away from all of this but I know that I can't. She does not want to go cold turkey as she said she is too far gone for that. I just wish upon a star most nights, that something or someone can changer her mind and that she will turn her life around one step at a time. I'll be here for her when that happens. 

[tyme]

Hold onto that hope @Stargirl . Look after yourself so that when the time comes that she is ready to see you, you are well enough to support her.

As a carer, you need to be well yourself. It is of utmost importance.

Don't give up on hope. Hope is what keeps us all going.

Thank you for sharing and updating us. It was great to hear you were able to tell her you are there for when she is ready.

All the best.

[Appleblossom]

@Stargirl Good to see you again.

You wrote "trying to find the balance of letting her be (rather than letting go which is so final)." a while ago.  I found that really powerful, and yes ... saying you will be there when she is ready ... has a positive aspect ... of allowing for the possiblility of her readiness. Hope is necessary.

Yes one day she may be ready ...

I have a birthday coming up soon with my girl.  It is huge for a mum, as it is also our experience of giving birth, tho we try and turn it into an all positive experience for our children.  Life is just messy.

Gently Bently

Apple