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โ17-06-2019 09:28 PM
โ17-06-2019 09:28 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
I to have friends & family very opinionated but I now donโt worry about them because they donโt know the full story behind her actions.
Itโs difficult because when her walls are up sheโs pushes me away & Iโm guessing because she doesnโt want to get hurt, but then when we are in a good place sheโs extreme which messages about how much she loves me & all that stuff which I feel Iโve got to reply to others wise she thinks something is wrong...
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โ17-06-2019 11:25 PM
โ17-06-2019 11:25 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Has she had a history of being hurt a lot?
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โ23-06-2019 10:01 PM
โ23-06-2019 10:01 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
If I'm honest, a person with BPD can be the most caring, empathetic person around BUT we can flick like a switch when we feel threatened. We might go in to survival mode and turn against you.
Also, yes, it can be hard to convince a person with BPD that your feelings are sincere. You really need patience but I guarantee you, if you prevail, you will probably find the most loyal, loving companion...of course, not everyone is exactly the same though..this is obviously a generalisation...
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โ25-06-2019 10:38 PM
โ25-06-2019 10:38 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Sorry just getting back to your question now.
She has been hurt in the passed from her ex husband but long term from her Mum & Dad growing up but never thought anything of it until later in life which triggered BPD. She is so afraid I people abandoning her that she tryโs to be someone sheโs not..basically tryโs to hard.
Itโs an constant battle to be careful about what I do or say just so she doesnโt take it the wrong way or over think it.
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โ26-06-2019 11:47 PM
โ26-06-2019 11:47 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
I have definitely come to appreciate how crucial the issue of abandonment is for those with BPD. Do you feel that this 'survival mode' may include going back into an old (and not so good) relationship in the face of their current partner going overseas?
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โ24-07-2019 01:50 PM
โ24-07-2019 01:50 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Hey @Beekind . Thanks for your kind words.
Sorry for the very delayed response. To answer your question, although I can't say one way or another for certain because I don't know the girl, it sounds like she is probably most comfortable in a more unhealthy relationship because she knows what to expect. There is too much to lose and too much too fear in a healthy relationship with a decent person.
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โ24-07-2019 04:15 PM
โ24-07-2019 04:15 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
helllo @Beekind , @Met1 how are you today xxx
sooo glad you are here @ComplexityQueen
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โ24-07-2019 04:30 PM
โ24-07-2019 04:30 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Hi @Shaz51 Iโm going well thanks. Howโs things your end?
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โ24-07-2019 04:36 PM
โ24-07-2019 04:36 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
one step at a time here my friend @Met1
my husband has bipolar 11 and other diagnosis , every day is different
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โ24-07-2019 08:20 PM
โ24-07-2019 08:20 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
That must be tough on you @Shaz51 itโs hard every day & on top of that you need to juggle your own life.