supporting an alcoholic family member

[MorningStar1]

My husband and I are trying to support our alcoholic son who has finally ( after over 10 years!) realised he cannot manage his alcohol use by himself and is telling people he will go to rehab. He has a phone intake appointment this week for the rehab place. Its been really difficult as we are trying to keep him to having a unit every 2 hours. My husband had to go to work today so gave him a drink before leaving and then within half an hour my son was wanting another one! I pleaded with him not to walk to the bottle shop and he relented and finally went to his bed and managed to stay there until the 2 hours was up. I cry sometimes when I'm with him because I'm about  sad who he has become but am also thankful for the beautifully kind person he is and that he now tells me he wants to learn to enjoy life without alcohol.

[Ru-bee]

Hello and welcome @MorningStar1 

What an amazing thing you're doing for your son. He's very lucky to have such wonderfully supportive parents who have been able to step up and help him when he felt ready. 

While I hear how glad you're feeling for him to be able to acknowledge that he needs help, and that he wants to enjoy his life without alcohol, I do also want to acknowledge that this is quite a big thing to be taking on between you and your husband. It's not always easy to support our loved ones, and it's not easy to see them struggle. How are you and your husband going so far? Aside from reaching out here (which is a great step to have taken), do you have any other supports to help the two of you through this?

[Jynx]

Hey @MorningStar1 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Ru-bee 

More How-to here!!

[MorningStar1]

@Ru-bee

[Ru-bee]

Hi @MorningStar1 

How did your son's doctor appointment go today?

Yesterday sounds like it was really challenging, but good on you for being firm with your boundaries. I hope that today has been a little easier

[MorningStar1]

Thankfully my husband who is a pharmacist, came with our son to the doctor and he was able to get a script some medication [edited by moderator], which is making my son feel less anxious. Hubby stayed home from work yesterday to help me with our son and today our son seems more stable. Hoping that tomorrow's phone interview with the Rehab will get him to treatment soon @Ru-bee 

[Ru-bee]

I'm so glad to hear that things are looking more stable right now @MorningStar1. Again, it sounds like your son is just so lucky to have you and your husband supporting him through this.

Please feel free to keep us updated on his interview tomorrow. I'll be hoping it all goes well!

[MorningStar1]

@Ru-bee 

The phone interview went really well. We just have to wait for the outcome of our son's court case on Monday. We are telling our son if he shows remorse and admits guilt, he may avoid jail and be ordered to do rehab. However, if he rambles on and interrupts and shows a defiant attitude, he may well be sent to jail. I will accompany him to court. My husband and I are reconciled to the possibility of him going to jail, which he somehow thinks is not going to happen, despite the legal advice we received of that distinct possibility.   

We got some support from my brother last night, and by friends today taking us out to breakfast. I hope we can manage our son until he hears a verdict. Unfortunately he has just told us that he wanted to end hit life but [edited by moderator] because he didn't want to have his daughter come to his funeral and thought of us. We think it was the dope he smoked after he found  a bong he had hidden away from our house. At the moment he has been ok, but its the evenings that are difficult.

[MorningStar1]

Thankfully rehab will help him find accommodation when he finishes it, and he may well want to help others who are addicted, as he gets on with people and has a great heart for others. Or after jail, we do not want him to stay with us any longer, but we will assist him to find housing. Our greatest hope is in Jesus. We know the success rate of rehab is only about 12%, but over 80% with rehab with the 'Jesus factor'. So whilst we do grieve about his current state, we know that our God can change even the most hopeless looking cases. We  know people who were  addicts be radically freed through the power of Jesus. So we are not despairing. @Ru-bee 

[Ru-bee]

There is certainly a lot of different factors at play here @MorningStar1 

I'm glad that your brother and your friends have been supportive, and I hope they can continue to rally around you during this difficult time.

I'll be thinking of you in the lead up to, and on Monday. Really hoping for a positive outcome for you all