Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Smc]

Hi @Shaz51... I've been off for a little while, thanks for keeping me tagged in.

Because my Mum and Dad were urgent admissions to aged care, with going home really not being an option, we didn't really have to work through "where" decisions. Dad was already in a local (to them) home for respite, he was looking happier and healthier than we'd seen him in ages, and since they had spaces available, it made sense for both of them to move in there permanently. But Mum found it hard... she never had the option of going through the house and choosing what she wanted in her room. My sister and I picked some things to bring in that we hoped would make her feel "at home", and she'd give us lists of other things she wanted to try to find in their house.

It really was for the best for them. I hope you can find somewhere where you can be confident that your Mum is well cared for and happy. xx

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @Smc 

And hugs for your mum and dad too xxx

My mum is back at our local hospital for permanently aged care part of the hospital as which makes it easier for me as I can't drive and I can visit more 

She does not want things from home to be brought up to her room at the moment,  I did take up her bedding and her pillow up 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Dimity how are you today xx

[Dimity]

Hello @Shaz51 it's hard if your mum still isn't really accepting aged care. Having things from home might upset her right now. Take your time.

I'm ok thanks, just got stitches out at drs and now heading into garden before thinking about dinner. Hope your back has settled. 

[Smc]

@Shaz51...So is that because bringing things from home would make it feel too permanent?

If so, wondering if buying her something new and nice might help somewhat? A favourite magazine or two, or a book, or a CD with some music she likes? Or a nice shawl for her shoulders or lap, if she uses that kind of thing?

xxx Isn't an easy transition for anyone. Lots of love.

[Shaz51]

Thank you @Smc , @Dimity 

Great idea , I have brought new dresses and nighties , she is happy with them 

Soo I will do that xx

Her sister just tells her she can't go back home , soo that does not help I don't think xx

[Dimity]

I'm glad you're having some wins @Shaz51 . You're doing your best.

When my auntie was in aged care her fellow sisters occasionally organised a tea party there for her and picked up dad and me to join them.  It might be a way to involve your aunties. 

[Shaz51]

@Dimity , @Smc , @BlueBay , @Determined , @Zoe7 , @Former-Member , @Paperdaisy , @tyme 

Today only one job today,  washing done 

We brought a Ute full of our stuff that we had in storage from our house fire , got lots more to bring home 

Very hot up here today 34 degrees and stormy 

This afternoon sitting in air-con not wanting to do anything else today not even to visit mum and am feeling guilty about it 

[BlueBay]

It’s really hard lovely I understand. 
when mil went into aged care we brought some of her clothing and a few pair of shoes. We even brought a frame with photos to put on her table.  We used to buy her new clothes every now and then even pjs. 
the one strange thing she would do is sleep with her handbag. She had nothing in it but to her she thought she had lots of money and someone was going to take it. 

towards the end we bought her a big rubber doll.  She used to hold it like a baby snd talk to it. 

I'm glad she’s in care closer to you now. 

lots of love and hugs @Shaz51 xxxx 

[Shaz51]

Thank you my lovely sister @BlueBay 

Yes mum is getting there, just taking a bit of time 

I think getting some of our things out of storage has kind of upset me for the rest of the day 

Soo going to look through them another day xxx