I am struggling at the moment

[Teej]

Ps @CheerBear

thank you for sharing your pretty. I’d be excited by that too. 

One of the the things that has kept me going is your resilience and fight. It helps a lot to see others get through. 

Maybe its it’s time for me to go look at my pretties. I haven’t got many this year. I might share what I do have though. 

Hugs 💜😳

[CheerBear]

@Teej

Thank you so much for sharing, really truly. It's not pathetic and it's not bringing anyone down. It's real and it hurts and it's big and it's a whoooole lot of buses. I get it and I'm sure all of us who know and care about you do too.

I know how hard change is and when lots of things are changing in a big way, it can feel like everything is turned upside down and all over the place. I think most people who experience things getting jumbled up would find it really hard to know where to go or what to do from there. It makes so much sense that we go back to doing what we think will help us get through, even if it isn't the healthiest way to do things.

I get so big time stuck with situations like yours (my CB version of those kinds of things). I get shame in a big way. It doesn't help me at all, but it is an almost constant extra layer of hard on top of what's already hard. Letting go of it and being more kind to myself, is going to be my focus for the next little while. The hurt and angry parts of me are not going down without a big fight though and I have a feeling it's going to be a long battle with kicking deep rooted ways of beating myself up.

Wish there was a fix it wand to wave for you, but there's not, so I'll let you know I am sitting and feeling and hearing with you Teej ❤

[Shaz51]

sending you lots of tender hugs @Teej  and sitting with you

[CheerBear]

Ps - thank you for that message above also @Teej. A little while ago on one seriously messy night, you very kindly and gently encouraged me to think about having a good honest look at where I was and you helped me find my brave so I could do the scary CATT thing to get to the break place. You made a huge difference at the time Teej, along with other kind and gentle forumites, and I am incredibly thankful for that.

I look forward to seeing any pretties. Mine are scraggly looking ones really, but they tend to come good eventually (hopefully) 😊

[Teej]

Thanks @Shaz51, @CheerBear. 💜💜

Im going to try and be human for a bit. 

Hugs 💜🤗 ( got it right this time @CheerBear, last post to you I had a whoopsie in there) 

[CheerBear]

Haha I love the whoopsies emojis 😊

Hope however you're planning on spending the next little bit, it's OK for you @Teej.

This one comes to mind today (I watched and read and pondered a lot of Brene over the last few weeks)

Please don't hold back from breaking that silence wherever and however. I think can be scary to do, but maybe it can help sometimes.

💜

[Former-Member]

listening and sitting near by @Teej - lots going on for you right now and it would be very hard... not pathetic as CB said... be gentle with you, as much as you are always of others going through lots of change and hard times.

[Shaz51]

@Teej, you are a wonderful encouraging friend to me and many other here xxxxxx ( my kisses are running wild here xxxxx)

Hello my friend forever @Former-Member

and lots of hugs @CheerBear

[Teej]

Thanks @Shaz51 for your lovely kind words. 

@Former-Member I suspect you may have as much if not more going on for you. Thank you for being here. 

@CheerBear Thank you so much for your timely intervention. You got me outside and I potted up some plants that were way over due. And I took these pretties whilst outside. They look a bit photoshopped but I haven’t touched them. Phone seems to be over saturating them. The colours are all very vibrant though. 

And two nights ago the jigsaw of the day was this ......

Which helped to distract hugely. It took about 90 min to do ☺️

Thanks for the Brené quote too. It’s kind of powerful. For me just now it’s a vicious circle. Tell all and fear judgement and rejection but feel somewhat more authentic. I have a feeling that the new psychologist isn’t going to let me get away with much. On my first meeting she called the elephant in the room straight up. She much more direct than I’ve had before but maybe that’s a good thing too. I can’t stay paralysed and in this bubble forever. 

I hope everyones one’s day is ok. 💜🤗

@Sans911 Thinking of you. I know it really a rough time for you too. 💜🤗 (I saw you under the like). 

[Shaz51]

flowers are beautiful @Teej, soo colourful and I love the jigsaw xx