Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Ed1965]

Had my day planned to include going to take mum lunch in nursing home. All week I've had this bad feeling something bad is going to happen. Don't know what. Also felt tired and thought i might be coming down with something. So i talked myself out of going to see her today but going tomorrow instead. Feel so guilty that maybe I'm not sick and tired at all and that something bad is going to happen and i won't see her tomorrow. Went for a walk this morning (later than usual - had to gee myself up). Now I'm in bed trying to get some rest. Just feel like I'm making up my physical weariness to get out of going. I am canceling going out tomorrow so i can visit her then so i don't know why i feel so bad except that she won't be around then.

[Ed1965]

I forgot to add that i suffer from depression but i have been mainly ok recently - just something bothering me since last weekend but i can't put a finger on it. Now it's translated to worry and guilt over mum.

[SGde3a]

Do you feel like you can't be yourself when you're over there?

[Ed1965]

No not at all. Mum suffers from dementia and imagines lots of strange things but still has a good sense of humour. I went over today and she was very happy to see me.
Still have this forbiding feeling. I've got a huge weekend of things on. Maybe I'm just stressing out a bit or suffering anxiety or something.
At least i feel better I've seen her today.

[Ed1965]

Don't think so what? Right now i wish i could die peacefully in my sleep. Failing that a quick accident. Failing that a miserable disease (ie worse than alcoholic depression )

[Appleblossom]

Our sense of responsibility can heap up a mountain of bad vibes sometimes. 

The problem with "vibes" is that they are vague and sometimes dont mean anything and other times they do, but we still have to put up with them.

Glad you got to see your mum @Ed1965

I will feel better after Easter slips away and life gets back to normal.

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Ed1965,

Just wanted to let you know that the members post was removed (it was advertising and a poor choice of wording to try to look like a post) I am sorry you saw it

but your response is worrying, it sounds like you are in a really bad space right now, please consider contacting one of the crisis line numbers or logging on to their webchat 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Chat

Beyondblue: 1300 22 46 36 (24/7) or Web chat

Suicide Call Back: 1300 659 467 or Online Counselling

[Ed1965]

I thought i was going to be ok this easter. Had lots of things on i was looking forward to. Now it's all in a heap of shit because of argumentative or dont care at all family.

[Former-Member]

hello @Ed1965

Your mum is in a nursing home, experiencing dementia no wonder you have some anxiety happening there.

This is a natural response, guilt comes along with it.

I am not sure if you were her carer or not. The feelings that you describe are very common amongst carers, family members when their parent is taken out of their care, out of their own home.

Change

My mum was admitted to a nursing home whilst I was in hospital. My sister was her carer.
She is dealing with anxiety, guilt, anger and a whole range of other feelings now.

Also I noticed when I visited mum over Easter when I left, I had a feeling of emptyness. It felt so strange leaving her within her new environment. I realised that my sister and I have to adapt also. Grief is present.

Change

I hope that you are able to get some counselling, visit your gp they can put you on a plan paid by medicare.

It helps just to talk to someone who is impartial.

Main thing is that I can say to you is that your feelings are natural. Acknowledge the feelings, dont bury them and look after you.

Do something nice for you.

please keep on writing