Masking

[heera72]

Though we live in a time where we can speak freely about our mental health and well-being, for some people, it might be hard because there are still communities and people around us who have prejudice about specific mental health conditions. That's why some individuals with mental health conditions and disorders sometimes use masking as a strategy to hide their symptoms to fit societal expectations. Someone might find the need for masking for various reasons like social acceptance, to avoid stigma, to meet academic expectations, and many more, as well as because of a lack of awareness. The most important point from all this is that many individuals with mental health conditions and disorders still mask their symptoms to be accepted like everybody by society, and we as a society must create a safe place for them. 

[Gremlin24]

@heera72 how very true. Whilst mental health is more accepted these days and there's more awareness around it. It's still very much a subject that alot of people just can't deal with. I don't think those that suffer from mental health in any way, shape or form will ever be able to fully open and not have to mask the way they are at some stage in their life.

Thankfully here is a safe space for people with a range of issues to freely be themselves and not have to worry about being judged. 

[chibam]

@heera72  @Gremlin24  The cruellest irony is that you don't get any points for trying to dance to their tune; you have to be perfect. You have to completely sell the illusion that you are "one of them". So if you can't comprehend what it is they want from you, or why they want it, you've got no chance of having a positive relationship with them.

The older, wiser man has learned that there's no point even trying to appease them, as your just too out of the loop to have any chance at succeeding. And, as I say, anything less then an (impossible) perfect illusion will automatically fail you, so why bother trying?

It's sad that, even in most of the so-called accepting spaces, there is still a very high expectation to hold you tongue on many key issues; for instance, on whether or not suicide is a "bad" thing. Values like that underpin everything, so if you can't talk about them, you essentially can't talk about your predicaments at all. Nor can you make any productive strides towards a worthwhile quality of life.

[Gremlin24]

@chibam so very true.  I gave up trying to live up to the expectations of others and society. I live and choose to be alone, why bother trying to fit in when it would require me to constantly wear a mask and pretent do be something I'm not. 

Yes I understand it's hard not being able to talk about certain things such as suicide but at the same time there are reasons for this and i understand that. The crisis services that are available are a place where you can openly talk about suicide and anything else you wish. This is a safe place for all to come and have a chat and share experiences but most of all to make that connection and know that you aren't alone. 

[MJG017]

@heera72  It's one of the big things I learnt this year... after 53 years of just pretending everything was fine just to "fit in" and be accepted.  And after all that, who did it help?!  It certainly never helped me to feel accepted or to fit in anywhere.  So why did I do it?  No idea!  It seems like such a waste of time now in hindsight.  So if I have to pretend anything to have someone accept me, then I'd rather be alone.  I've found out that there is one thing worse than being alone... surrounded by people who make you feel alone.  So now I only will give my time to people who don't make me feel alone, or invisible, or worthless... what ever!  Life is just far too short to waste on those people.  Find people who make us feel heard and understood.  Only then can we begin to feel better about ourselves.  And if we struggle to find them at times, then we're still better off without those other people dragging us down.

[chibam]

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@Gremlin24 wrote:

Yes I understand it's hard not being able to talk about certain things such as suicide but at the same time there are reasons for this and i understand that. The crisis services that are available are a place where you can openly talk about suicide and anything else you wish. This is a safe place for all to come and have a chat and share experiences but most of all to make that connection and know that you aren't alone. 

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I'm not denying the importance of having "safe" communities or areas where suicide can't be discussed openly. But the point I was trying to make is that there isn't any easily accessable community where suicide can be talked about openly. (They are out there, but they are very difficult to find, and they have to move around a lot because of persecution.)

Having "crisis services" where you can one-on-one chat about it is no substitute for a free, open community. If that's the best we can hope for, it's akin to making it illegal for a community to gather together in groups larger then 2 people; which is generally regarded as an affront to basic human rights.