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11-04-2018 05:53 PM
11-04-2018 05:53 PM
My partners family are awful
Hi guys,
I haven’t been on for some time but there’s something I’m really struggling with at the moment and would like some advice on. My partner has Bipolar Type 2, a form of autism and a few other Mental Illnesses. Recently she (my partner) posted something on social media about dealing with Autism as it is Autism Awareness month. Her sister then sent her a message telling her that she doesn’t have Autism and that she has to be really severely affected to even be considered as someone with Autism and proceeded to tell her that she needs to cut the shit out ect and that if she keeps it up it’s going to affect her life. I AM SO FRURIATED because she does have a form of Autism and is affected by it every day. Who does that?!?!!!! For some reason her family doesn’t accept the fact and won’t accept or acknowledge the fact that she has Autism and a mental illness and continue to fill her head with crap about herself. They are really unsupportive and say awful things to her and she just takes it and won’t stand up for herself and I don’t know how long I can go without saying something or if I should say something it’s jusr so awful it hurts to watch her go through this crap with her family all the time they treat her like a piece of dirt. I am really worried that she is going to do something one day because she won’t be able to take it anymore
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11-04-2018 08:29 PM
11-04-2018 08:29 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
@Queenie - I know you don't venture over to the carers side much but is this a situation you may be able to help Littletink_ with?
How are you keeping yourself?
Darcy
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11-04-2018 08:52 PM
11-04-2018 08:52 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
I am going okay. I have really been battling with my Mental Health issues lately. And I have just had foot surgery so I am currently in a cast and house bound. Just trying to get through day by day at this stage. How are you doing @Former-Member?
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11-04-2018 09:26 PM
11-04-2018 09:26 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
Hey there @Littletink_, I'm sorry to hear the outlaws are being awful to your partner. My own family has alienated me due to my mental health conditions and have told me on many occasions that they are not interested in my mental health. I've tried to educate them by sending them books and resources, but they were returned to me unopened.
I've therefore hit upon the fact there are only certain things I can discuss with them now. If the worst happens and I am hospitalised, I do not discuss this with them. I talk about things I am doing well (like study) rather than how my disability affects my life. I do not talk to my family much at all, but that is more about them than it is about me. They aren't in my life that much. My major trigger is my Father, as he runs very cold towards me and just when I think life is going well, bam he will call and throw my life into turmoil again. These days I choose the communication form, which I have chosen as email. I can choose to answer or even to read them.
I'm not saying your partner has to cut contact with her family, rather, perhaps she could choose how to communicate with them. Sadly I've discovered you can't change other people, all you can do is protect yourself so you aren't easily damaged.
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11-04-2018 09:30 PM
11-04-2018 09:30 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
Things a bit sad here, buried one of our beloved whippets last week, Mr D not coping at all well ...
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11-04-2018 09:46 PM
11-04-2018 09:46 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
Yeah I have another 9 or so days until I get my walking boot and I won’t know until then if I can put full weight on it or not. Yeah she has been helping me with what I am unable to do for myself which is nice but it is definitely a new thing for her. It’s more helping around the house that I struggle to get help with. I always have to ask her to do something otherwise it won’t get done. I’m not sure if it’s an autism thing or not. But most likely the depression as I have it pretty severely myself so I do understand but it does get frustrating at times especially when I am immobile. Oh I am so sorry to hear that @Former-Member 😞 It is never easy losing a pet they are such great companions. Was she very old?
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11-04-2018 09:50 PM
11-04-2018 09:50 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
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11-04-2018 09:59 PM
11-04-2018 09:59 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
Our lad was 11 1/2, not so old but had a suspected endocrine condition.
Thanks @Queenie
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11-04-2018 10:04 PM
11-04-2018 10:04 PM
Re: My partners family are awful
It's a hard road, I'm not going to deny that. I am not completely alone though, I have my Mrs and she is like my rock. I think we understand each other because we both live with MH conditions and are able to support each other. My Mrs has family who doesn't accept her conditions and ridicules her too, so we have a level of understanding with each other.
The fact that I have had no family support for most of my life, in some ways it gets easier with time. The emotions aren't so raw anymore. Yes, I still get thrown especially at Christmas and Birthdays, but you know, it honestly does get easier as the years go by. I don't shed tears anymore over loneliness and despair or even anger. I have to accept it is what it is.
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11-04-2018 10:22 PM
11-04-2018 10:22 PM