Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Determined]

Will be quiet here also @Mrsjones 

Weather permitting head out on the boat for a sunset cruise and some fishing then watch first  round of fireworks from less populated vantage point. There is a family friendly early round of fireworks and another at midnight. We will watch the first Then long drive home and our boys want to see the new year in watching some family movies. 

Our town has fireworks but not interested in being around people so we will head out of town to see some. Providing the weather is favourable or be out on the boat. Juat hope there are not 100 other boats with the same idea lol.  So far so good for the forecast. 

We don't do alcohol either in our family. 

[Determined]

Thinking of you and little ones @Mrsjones 

Trust the new year brings you some joy and your hubby can find some healing and peace.  I am.glad you have found support here in the forums. I don't know How I would have survived our family crisis without the support here. Most of 2016/17 we were in crisis. Our bub turned 1 at the end if 2016. Still brings tears now when memories are surfaced so my heart goes out to you and your family. 

[outlander]

Quiet night here too @Mrsjones all fireworks in my area and surrounds and most events have been cancelled due to fires or becuse of severe weather warnings (heatwave) so a quiet night in sounds good to me

[Mrsjones]

Thank you @Determined , its been the hardest year of my life. 

@outlander , there seems to be debate about the fireworks everywhere between fire bans and huge costs that could go elsewhere. 

In regards to alcohol, Mr Jones has a alcohol dependence diagnosis and keeps relaping which is causing furture issues to his mood disorder and has been his gateway to attempts. He attends a 4 hour program once a week dedicated to addiction, takes a medication that causes illness when alcohol is consumed (this has not stopped him, he just deals with the sickness side effects). He has also been on anti craving medications before but all result in horrible side effects (i think he should try this again though). 

We avoid social situations where people are drinking, I NEVER have anything in the house, our close friends know the situation so they support as well but what else can I do to support him. I have also decided to stop any drinking at all as well in the hope that helps (and Ill be a lot healthy for it too). 

Does anyone have any other advice that may work to support this? His Dr has said that he controlled the drinking then his moods will be half the issue. Its really a golden ticket to management. I have never had a addiction before so do not understand how it works. 

Any tips will be appreciated.

Thank you   

[Former-Member]

@Tiggeroo is this something you could help @Mrsjones  with?

[Shaz51]

@Mrsjones

 In regards to mr jones and alcohol,,

does he like it all the time or just moments ?

mr shaz goes through similar moments ,

I am thinking of hat to say my friend  as mr shaz starts drinking alcohol and then he will say "  does alcohol mess up my meds " and I say yes

so he stops

and then he restarts and says " i feel like somthing stronger "

and I say " No as my father was a drinking and a grambler before mum and i left "

so mr shaz goes to wine

last week he said " I like it when we are not drinking "

so I said " let`s start the new year with no drink", ammmmmmm mr shaz brought a 5 litre cask "

I have also decided to stop any drinking at all as well in the hope that helps (and Ill be a lot healthy for it too).-- me too @Mrsjones , @Former-Member , @outlander , @Determined , @Jay-e 

mr shaz blames himself for my drinking

[Mrsjones]

@Shaz51 , thank you. 

Mr Jones only drinks when mood is bad, not as a regular thing but when he does it's a lot of drinking and he keeps it from me (tries too, I'm not silly). 

He appreciates that I will now stop but in the past 18 months I haven't had a drink around him any way, or really anything to drink at all so no skin off my nose to stop. 

He goes through stages when his mood is well where he talks about such a huge negative association with alcohol but then he says it's best because it means he can regulate his own moods (he knows this is only short term though before a huge mood crash). Mr Jones fully understands his issue with alcohol and knows he will never be able to have a drink again but does not hold out 😞 the longest time his gone alcohol free is 108 days. 

Alcohol has never ended well for him in the past 2 years since his MI really started to change (always had depression but was diagnosed with Bipolar about 2.5 years ago). 

I know that I am not responsible for his actions but it's so painful to see therefore I need to protect him to protect myself. 

Thanks again

(up at 4:50am on NY Day feeding the baby, oh the party life is crazy. hahaha) 

[Former-Member]

How are things going @Mrsjones ?

[Shaz51]

hello @Mrsjones , @Former-Member , @outlander , @Determined , @Jay-e , @Sophie1 

well we have had no Alcohol for a week

today has been a very big day trying to catch up with work as we are self employed

got home at 6pm and then i put the washing on and cooking dinner

Mr shaz said on the way home " thinking of buying a wine " ( noooo buy a bottle of soft drink , all gone now

have a questions 

how is your love ones problems solving , behavours, memories

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51  one day at a time. If moderation is possible perhaps a Friday night treat might be an option.

Problem solving can be an issue for Mr D. Noticing little things like today driving the long way to a place rather than taking the most direct route. 

He had always had a better memory than me so was hard for him losing a big chunk of it.  Sometimes I think he is doing ok with this, other times I wonder.