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Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

Sometimes I think he is doing ok with this, other times I wonder., yes same here @Former-Member 

driving into town , I will say I need the shop , 2 minutes after he turns to our turnoff to our street

and other times he is good

but i am relising a lot lately he will let me know when his brain has fading away

so we either have food or go home xx

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Shaz51 @Mrsjones @Former-Member @Determined @outlander @Sophie1 happy new year!!!

Was a quiet one for us, MsJ doesn't like new years eve and I must say I'm no fan either so she went fishing in the afternoon then we cooked dinner and watched Harry Potter. Party animals 😂

It's been a fairly decent couple of weeks actually, which was not what I expected because MsJ has been working more than usual over the holiday period.

@Shaz51 interesting question about memory and problem solving. MsJ can have a short fuse with problem solving though I have seen huge improvement in the last 12mths. I have to work continuously to not "take over" because I know that's about me trying to avoid her getting in a foul mood. I keep telling myself I just need to let it play out and if the mood eventuates it's not about me it's about her.

As  for for memory it seems like a sieve a lot of the time. Day to day that's not too huge to deal with but we went through a very dark and difficult period after we got married in 2011 that for me can still be very painful to reflect on. Now I know a lot of what was going on was about her (undiagnosed at that point) bipolar and the dangerous and hurtful behaviour that goes along with it but to this day she says she has very little memory of what occurred. Her drug use during that period certainly didn't help but I've absolutely seen issues with memory over very big and then very minor things.

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Jay-e 

Mr D has next to no memory of his psychotic crisis and he feels a lot of shame about the bits he does, I can only speculate as to what may have happened but have made it my business not to discuss it with him as I do not believe it would be helpful. 

 

It can still  be very painful for me to reflect on our critical period too. 

 

Standing back a bit and not taking over is something I struggle with at times too. 

 

How is your new little mademoiselle chien settling in?

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Former-Member MsJ also feels a lot of shame, and I do wonder whether the lack of memory is trauma related as well as related to the MI. We'll never know I guess!

 

As for Scout, I'm laying in bed watching TV listening to both her and MsJ snore their hearts out lol. She's well and truly made herself at home and we just adore her! One of the highlights of the last couple of weeks was a quiet afternoon MsJ wanted to go fishing so we packed some snacks and set off to her secret spot.  Watching MsJ and Scout run around in the water just made my heart melt!

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Jay-e  makes one wonder who snores the loudest 😁😵. Lovely that the French one has settled in well. 

 

You might want to have a look at our discussion on 8 dimensions of wellness  where last week we discussed 'environmental wellness' being out in nature one aspect of this.

 

 

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Former-Member love that thread on wellness! Totally up for that, I started reading but my eyes are also closing (first day back at work for me after 2 weeks off!) So I will definitely check it out tomorrow, thank you!!!

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

One thing that I really do find difficult is Mr Darcys attitude towards both himself and others with mental illness. When he was in hospital he was polite to, not judgemental and well liked among the other patients. Even out of hospital he will talk to others with mental illness without judgement, he is more a listener than a talker and don't we all want someone to listen to us.  However, he finds the negative symptoms of MI really difficult and views himself as a loser, perhaps the lack of empathy towards himself is a reason as to why he lacks empathy towards others in the same boat. I gently try and steer him in the direction of self compassion and towards others.  He is a very tenacious person and has put in the hard yards of recovery and he finds it hard when others are not able to do the same.

 

He is not good around physical illness either.  Having moved closer to family, he is very reluctant to draw on their support or to help them. I am still working out the practicalities of how we can help family members that need support whilst keeping stress to a minimum and feel that there will be times when I need to go by myself. Knowing how best to support the family is something that I have a bit of difficulty with.  

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

Has there been a decline in reading skills with Mr Shaz or has it always been problematic @Shaz51 ?

Mr Darcy found concentration with reading difficult but seems to be doing a little better lately. 

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

it always been problematic @Former-Member 

he finds the negative symptoms of MI really difficult and views himself as a loser,--- same here

and his family are very negative too

Re: My life partner has Bipolar ii

are you ok my @Former-Member Heart

Hello @Jay-e , @Mrsjones , @outlander , @Determined  Heart

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