Thank you @Former-Member @utopia it mattered that you both had worked in health care situations. I found out that my son is still actually in the same over arching service as the ED ... they hoped I would be pleased with the service from here on. I took a friend and she said that it went very well, that I won him (director) over and was professional. My mh worker said that they were taking it seriously as they were giving me a good audience. They apologised again. I worked towards a more forward looking attitude. They cant actually rewind my son's life and experience, but they agreed to supply a report and time will tell ....
Today I went 2 book launches. Keepoing busy and positive.
Today we were recording that Street Opera, and I was with lots more like-minded people.
My main reasons for complaining was for them to "lift their game" and "join the dots" so they get some of the consequences of premature discharge. In this case it did not save them money it costed a lot more.
Thank you @Former-Member
They are calming and grounding for me. When I have time I will do another dive into the world of art.
I have a lot of need to calm down ... calm the far .. lol ... but I am actually getting more and more anxious with physical symptoms. The recent diagnosis of Bruxism and 3 cracked teeth have effected me, more this time. I wore a mouth guard for 2 years about 10 years ago, but hoped I had managed it. Constantly clenching and unclenching. I have to face it. Nervous tics all over the place. I had hoped I had calmed down enough, but somehow the trauma burden keeps raising its ugly head.
I have a Royal Commission funded session for son&I this afternoon. I am stressing so much after last session's debacle that I need prn before i go and drive.
Chill Apple
@outlander Thanks for asking. I am still fragile. I have wasted a whole week, since concert on Sunday. Went to dentist today for 3 fillings. Feeling low, not intense, but only able to do the bare minimum.
I still cant see your pic, but will check later.
@Former-Member Your last post is the most beautiful warm supportive post addressing some of the things I carry. It made me feel heard. Thank you so much. Maybe I could not respond to it earlier because it is all just too big.
I had thought of doing a submission and writing, but could not bring myself to do it. I felt paralysed and would just stare at the screen. Most of my life I have forc-ed myself to do the uncomfortable hard things. Just grit teeth and do it ... yeah ... but that has its consequences ... and not just figurative.
In last 15 years I have done a great deal of rehab swimming and meditation yoga and tai chi and walking etc.
Perhaps this is part of me applying gently bently to me. I was ruthless with my own self and feelings as there was so much other need around me.
@Former-Member Dont doubt yourself. I have always appreciated you. You know the tragedy of a lot of MI within the family, and know bereavement and must have experience depression, yet still do practical and loving things. I have tried to do that too. I am just taking stock of the damage. The difference between my dreams of love and family and the way it is.
I bought 2 music stands so my son & I have one in each of our music rooms. He needs it for guitar and I need one for recorder.
He just walked in the door, as I type feeling tired. He spent day with his dad. I have to face the difficulty of a son with a serious MI. I have felt driven and guilt. I know things were not ideal. I do admire and respect my children, though there are tensions. We do have resources and abilities so I just have to keep quietly taking next step.
This forum has helped break down my isolation so much.
Kept me alive for the last 4 years.
@PeppiPatty just letting you see my "home" thread, if you are interested.
