Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[HellonWheels]

My daughter has a friendship with a lady who is over influencing her
Any thing this woman is doing she wants to do. She thinks she's the bees knees
She wanted to catch a bus at 7pm at a moments notice because her friend was going out for dinner
The friend has poor boundaries and recently sent me an offensive text saying my daughter was NOT welcome( she'd sent 50 gif messages LOL)
But that's what it is to have a friend with autism
I see her as treating my daughter as a conditional friend, like when she wants her to come over
If I tell her no I think she's get rebellious
It's hard to st boundaries as her friend doesn't have any😬
My daughter is just 18

[NikNik]

Hi @HellonWheels

May I ask, just for clarification, roughly how old this friend of your daughers is?

It's really tricky, as your daughter is 18 and is legally an adult. But I think helping her by teaching her boundaries is a great idea - but it sounds like it's tricky with this lady who is being quite influencial. 

Anyways - if we can get a bit more info, perhaps more members will be able to share their ideas.

Take care,

Nik

[Lunar]

Hello @HellonWheels,

This does sound like a tricky situation with your daughters friend and it would be hard to maintain boundaries as teenagers are easily influenced due to wanting to fit in with the crowd and like you said rebellious as they are wanting to push these boundaries.

Perhaps focusing on the part of the situation you can control, which is your reaction and involvement with your daughter and giving her support that way and then she can learn about what support she will take from her new friends.

Also, it's really important that you try to look after yourself as much as you can so you don't burn yourself out. Are you getting support from famiy, friends, or a counsellor?

Lunar