Looking after ourselves
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10-06-2020 12:37 PM
10-06-2020 12:37 PM
Terminal cancer and Me
My husband has terminal cancer and he's not far from the end. It's an ordeal I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Were young so it's hard because we won't get to spend the rest of our lives together.
But I'm left with no support and the questions what about me?
There isn't anyone helping me that is near me get through this. We have children and they are suffering and I'm looking after them hard. Yet no one is looking after me.
I Understand the concept of what he's going through and I know when he says all the nasty things it's not him it's the cancer but because of those things I am left on my own. No one close no one who can talk to me about how I'm feeling and worst of all having my feelings be told they are not important.
I truly feel lost and unsure of where to go, I know professionals and eveything and I'm doing that but what I need is a friend who will come have coffee with me listen to my feelings and just validate that Im allowed to feel this and it's not wrong.
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10-06-2020 01:38 PM
10-06-2020 01:38 PM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
Oh @Stephanie86 there is no need to go through this alone. Both the Carer Gateway and the Cancer Council have counseling supports in place where you can speak to someone who understands. The treatment team will also have a social worker who can also help with practical support, you just need need to ask to speak to them.
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10-06-2020 03:31 PM
10-06-2020 03:31 PM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
Hi @Stephanie86
Welcome to the SANE Forums! I am so glad that you found us as we have an incredibly supportive community here that I hope you will come to experience.
What you are going through is awful - the anticipatory grief, sadness and anxiety around being told you will lose your husband to Cancer, plus the guilt you feel around acknowledging your own struggles and needs at a time when other's needs are competing with your own. This is honestly a lot!
I am glad to hear you have some professional supports in place but I hear what you say around wanting social support to. The SANE Forums is a great space for such support in an online capacity; however, I hear that you are also after face-to-face friendships/support. Do you have any friends in your life that you could try to reach out to at the moment? If not, have you ever thought about joining a face-to-face Support Group?
Hoping you get the support you need!
Kindest,
Amour_Et_Psyché
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10-06-2020 06:13 PM
10-06-2020 06:13 PM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
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11-06-2020 08:40 AM
11-06-2020 08:40 AM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
Hearing you @Stephanie86 ..... it can be so tough, and carer's burnout is a real thing. I can't tell you the relief I felt when I found the forums and realised there is a community here who u der stand by living the experience .... different circumstances abound, but so does the live and understanding. Welcome to the forums.
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11-06-2020 08:43 AM
11-06-2020 08:43 AM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
Thanks it's been one pitfall to another.
Trying to remain strong but I'm completely burnt out.
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11-06-2020 09:04 AM
11-06-2020 09:04 AM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
I will tag you from a thread called Hot Chocolate Anyone ? @Stephanie86 ...., it's a corner to crash in a little bit and just be with others at the end of a long day, or the start of one. Self-care is critical for carers, but it can be really hard to k ow where, or how, to start.
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13-06-2020 03:45 AM
13-06-2020 03:45 AM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
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13-06-2020 04:06 PM
13-06-2020 04:06 PM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
hello and welcome to the forum @Melbgal
sending you tender hugs to let you know that you are not alone my friend
hello and hugs @Stephanie86
@Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member
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13-06-2020 10:12 PM
13-06-2020 10:12 PM
Re: Terminal cancer and Me
Hi and welcome to the forums @Melbgal ..... that was a lovely reply to @Stephanie86.
How are you going @Stephanie86 ? The message above is for you.