New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

[Determined]

Hi @rav3n 

Hating work at the moment, Feeling I am being made redundant in how things are operating.  
I am in a space that I have not been in for more than 15 years, and that is at the top of a very slippery slope for health and wellbeing. (**Disclaimer, I am perfectly safe, more concerned about physical and cognitive health and ability to  function in basic tasks). 
Day 2 of back to work I left after 2 hours unwell. Self care motorcycle ride aborted. 
Applied for another job tonight but not much going at the moment that does not require a 1 hour commute.  I will see how this week goes before I go down the path of big commutes. 

Already feeling nauseated with cramps thinking about going to work tomorrow. 

[Determined]

Discussion with EAP counsellor was supposed to be covering grief and loss topics in adjusting to life without Dad (in law). Covered off on some background and got tied up in that. And the advice about work was bail before I break. problem is we need to eat, and I am the only source of income other that Centrelink supplements. Cant live off that.
Flip side, I can work and feed us all if I break so it is a loose loose situation 😞 
I just need to care less, but that is not in my nature 

[rav3n]

@Determined thanks for letting me know you're safe. i can see how overwhelming this must be for you, and you deserve to feel valued and seen at your workplace. searching for other jobs seems like a great idea, hopefully some more job ads that are a closer commute pop up soon, fingers crossed!!! maybe tomorrow you can do that self-care motorcycle ride, you definitely deserve moments (even if its short) of feeling prioritised. 

please do go easy on yourself, i know its hard to do with so much going on but you can take it slow, you can take this step by step. rest up and i hope you feel better in the morning, take some deep breaths (i like to do this to calm me down: 2 deep inhales from the nose, hold for 3-5 seconds and then full exhale from the mouth - repeat as needed). sitting with you 💗

[Determined]

New season New goals

All out the window ATM.

Treading water.  No energy.

Darling on the edge of another breakdown.

Uncertainty at work is making me stressed which is sinking Darling further. 

Day at a time, step at a time. 

[Determined]

Finding myself at a crossroads at the moment. Have some appointments over the next week and feel I need to make a decision what to do about work. Leaning towards cut and run at the moment. 

Stress has my chronic fatigue in overtime

This is impacting on Darlings wellbeing

[tyme]

Awww @Determined ,

I'm hearing you. Chronic fatigue is so unpredictable. Can you take extended time off?

Is caring for your Darling the cause of this fatigue so you can't work, or is your Darling stressed out because you may not be able to work?

I vaguely remember, you have teenage children?

[Determined]

@tyme 

That is a chicken or the.egg scenario. 

Darling is sinking and my workplace is going down the toilet at the same time.

I don't have the capacity to deal with both at the same time. 

If Darling was more functional I could quit my job. This prospect is sinking her further  however. 

If my job was not so toxic I could maybe support my darling better. 

 Alternatives to my current job require a big commute.( And I would actually need to land a job first) 

Now my stress is at a level that starting a new job would be a challenge. Should have left 6 weeks ago..

[Determined]

Currently investigating return to a carer supplement with Centrelink.

Less than desirable for me in wanting to be a provider but Darling needs additional support at the moment. Things have been delicate since loosing her Dad. 

Keeping myself afloat to support my Darling is my number 1 priority at the moment.

Darling is 1 brain snap away from crossing over to risk of significant self harm. 

[tyme]

I've had the carer allowance before... it is so minimal... like literally $50 a week or so... if we are talking about the same allowance @Determined 

I really hope things work out for you and your darling. 

[Determined]

@tyme 

Carer payment

Closer to a pension

Not close to actually working but will feed us. If we can get it.

I already get the carer allowance.