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[Healandlove]

@Determined I get you completely.  I am that person, the one that wants everyone around me to be happy and get along. I feel responsible for everyone's happiness which of course is not right. But it is true, together we can achieve better outcomes. 

Empathy is another thing that drives me. Too much I think. 

You are right, understanding the steps for grief and loss helps. 

Hoping the weekend brings a respite for all of us as carers, support to our loved ones and peace to our loved ones ❤️‍🩹

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Determined 

Hope you and your family are doing ok tonight?

You mentioned that you were looking for strategies for self care - Here are a few links I found, you may or may not have already come across?

Tilly's Self-Care Toolbox 

Coping Toolbox 

Another Toolbox 

[Determined]

Gardening update

Finally getting a start last weekend and today.

 

 

[Determined]

 

 

[Determined]

Above pics before (1&3) and 

After (2&4). Are this afternoons effort. 

I have done very little yard work over the past 3+ years. It really is a disgrace the condition it is in 😢 

Feeling enthusiastic and inspired about the possibilities again. 

Hoping to do 2 to 3 hours a week between after work and Saturday.

[Determined]

Kicked off with a diet and exercise plan this week also. (Can't discuss particulars due to guidelines) 

Diet is just more consistent. I am prone to forget to eat. Or just don't take time out. 

Exercise plan has specific measurable targets. Often easier to launch this time of year and gets to hard when. Winter rolls around again.  I struggle getting up in the dark. Again just more consistent. Try and build some fitness. At the moment I am out of breath walking from the carpark to my office. 

[Determined]

Small vent here just to get it out.

Moment status change again here.

We have reached a point where my work has become unsustainable. (Issue of poor leadership and organisational culture) .

We have been here before

So it is a choice between pressing on because we need the money, and ultimately burning out and not being able to work anyway.  (Been there done that). 

Or cut and run while I am still functional enough to maybe get another job.

A key member of my team has already pulled the pin. My trouble is only going to get much worse when he bails in 6 weeks :nauseated_face:

The result of all of this is Darling is not handling it at all well and talking about giving up and no point living. Not what I need when doing all I can to support my family. 

Humiliated to have asked family for a loan to clear debt. Secured a significant loan with non questions asked and yet somehow we are still hard done by.

At what point is the response to gentle and understanding and becomes, actually grow up and get a grip. Look ay the home you have, the car you drive and the food on the table and tell me we are hard done by 😡

Homeless people all around us and we want to bleat about the need for cautious spending for the short term until I can secure a new job. 

[Determined]

Because we are regional, most job.opporyunities include a 1hour each way commute putting me back to 50+ hours a week away from home. Stressing how that will go. Both for my endurance and darlings ability to function with me so far away.

Currently I am 5 to 15 mins away in an emergency. 

[Determined]

Sorry for the rant,

Stressed at the moment and hurt by the lack of support.  Again being made to feel useless because I can't support my family. 

In a perfect world.we should be able to walk this journey together. But I don't get that luxury. 

[Healandlove]

@Determined I am so sorry about the work situation.  I have been in a toxic corporate culture before and it was such a relief to get out.

I'm in a deep hole these days so I don't know what good advice I can give. What you said about telling our loved ones "get a grip, grow up"...I can identify so much with that. There are many times I feel that way with my husband. And then I have to remind myself about his cptsd and walk away. Without a happy work place you are left with the overwhelming situation at work and the one at home. It's too much. I hope you can move to a better job soon. Have you started looking? Everyone is here for you.