Healthy relationships: What are the signs?

[CherryBomb]

Relationships are unique and deeply personal. What you consider a 'good' relationship might be completely different to others. While relationships vary in character, there are signs that suggest that relationships are generally healthy.

It can be difficult getting perspective within your own relationships because daily interactions can become 'normal'. So it can be helpful to know of some signs that may suggest that a relationship can become healthier, which include:

1. Abuse: verbal, emotional and/or physical 
2. Lack of support
3. Feeling angry or resentful
4. Alienating other relationships
5. Ultimatums and threats

(See this article '10 Signs You May Be in an Unhealthy Relationship' for more information). There are other signs not mentioned above or in this article but these are some main themes that could signal an unhealthy relationship. 

This doesn't mean that it needs to end. Becoming aware of signs is an opportunity to work on improve areas in a relationship. 

Has anyone ever wondered if they are in an unhealthy or healthy relationship? what do you do to work at creating a healthy relationship ?  @BananaHammock @Tatsinda @lucky @zipper @Former-Member  @Used2Be  @cheersquad @GivingMick I understand that you are in relationships, I'd love to hear what you do to maintain a healthy relationships. 

[GivingMick]

LOL, that's me with the ears covered!
After reading the article, I have been reassured that leaving was the appropriate thing to do. Not from lack of me trying! It wasn't a mutual agreement.
What the article describes in point form, is excellent! Thanks for sharing CherryBomb 🙂

[CherryBomb]

@GivingMick , glad to hear that you felt reassured after reading that article!  Sounds like it raised some insights for you.

I think the great thing about relationships is that even though that some end, there's also so much to learn even after the fact. 

[GivingMick]

To be there when your partner needs you.
To have a sympathetic ear, and understand any difficulties.
To spend time together having fun times, and even the hard times.
Reason, logic, and a big heart. Helps to deal with almost anything.

[CherryBomb]

@GivingMick, great list of signs for a health relationship. I think some signs for me would be:

- communication, even when it's hard, talking (respectfully and calmly) through tough and challenging times is pretty important for me.

- Humour: an ability to laugh at how silly things get sometimes

- 'Spending time together having fun time', I liked this point @GivingMick. My partner is one of my best friends. Why wouldn't I enjoy spending fun time together? 

[GivingMick]

Humour, most definitely is an essential part of life.

[CherryBomb]

I also found this article '6 things Happy Couples do differently than the rest'. An interesting read. 

Food for thought... or for the 

[zipper]

Sorry for coming late to the conversation

After reading these 2 articles, it seems I am in an unhealth relationship

I think the years of my husbands mental illness have just worn me down.  He has said some awful things while sick and has constantly thrown the 'psycho babble' (as I call it) back at me. 'I have depression' 'you should be more understanding' Yeah Right. 

He has basically relinquished all family responsibilities and I have to do everything and when I ask him things because I am unsure,  he just says its alright, when I ask him when was the last time it was checked - he says last week, which I know isnt true.  

It is hard when I am trying to keep him well and in my eyes he isnt trying.  If I saw him try, I would be more forgiving.  When I say try, I mean, he wont exercise, every time it is suggested he just says NO, he wont eat well, I try to keep things under control, but he goes to the shop.  So there is a lot of things like that.   So why should I bother?  He is so reliant on medication - every doctor (the psych and the gp) are telling him to exercise, walk, get out, but he just expects the pills to do everything for him

I dont blame him but I do hold him responsible -if there is a difference?  

At the moment he is blaming me for constantly being on the computer and on the smart phone.  But he doesnt talk to me.  I can sit there and chatter on, but he wont even reply.  So what do I do?  He wants me to sit next to him on the lounge while he watches tv and falls asleep.  What type of relationship is that?

My health is suffering because of the sitting.  I have high blood pressure, the GP just laughed because he knows why. I also went into menopause in my mid 40s because of the stress.  

zz

[Alessandra1992]

There may be alternatives to unhappy relationships @zipper, it reads as though you are exhausted in your role as a carer and as a mum. It might be worth exploring how can you support yourself? Sitting on the couch can be very boring if there is no conversation or camaraderie between you..can you go walk with a friend when he is ensconced in TV?
I know I was a nightmare to live with when I was unwell..but I didn't realise that until I took a companionship test. I discovered that at that point, I was always right, no one had better id as than me and manners..what were they?
I did relearn how to be appreciative, and less demanding but it is still a balancing act sometimes as I am also a carer so can get a bit tricky at times..
Have you hooked into any carer support services in your area?

[Tatsinda]

Just wanted to say zipper that I understand the frustration when it doesn't look like they are helping themselves. I feel like its not worth trying at the moment because how many times do you need to tell someone to exercise only to have them agree then not do it?? I feel like I'm not getting thru to my hubby that this is serious, I can't go on with the current situation forever and at some point he needs to really start making a proper committed effort. But what to do in the meantime? Its very hard to keep maintaining a positive relationship in these circumstances. At the moment we are in a bit of limbo really, me trying to give him space although I have been pushing the review of meds idea. I truly don't think he sees how hard this is for me.