In short, YES @Needhope . It will mean so much to her.

In the borderline brain, this 'hatred' has built up. It can easily torn down in an instant with love. If he even send her a message, "You may think I don't love you, but I do. When you are ready, I'm here for you". By doing this, the ball is then in her court as to whether she will reach out.

Small acts of kindness will go a long way. She can 'flip' from complete hatred to utter adoration. And if it does, also remember, it can flip back the other way too.

Borderlines are very very highly sensitive people. When they 'feel', they really FEEL - whether it's love, hatred, adoration.

One thing though, do not 'make' her feel love for her father. Give her the choice. e.g. He is waiting for you, because he loves you. Whether you want to contact him is up to you.

Choice and empowerment is a huge thing to consider. Emotionally, borderlines are often so out of control, that they will do anything to be in control. So by giving them choice, you were essentially telling them they are in control.

Hope this helps.