newbie

[TOXICONE]

hi all, im new to this online stuff. ive always struggled with PTSD , Manic depression and severe anxiety all my life. my childhood was full of trauma. i was diagnosed about 6-7yrs ago with BPD and its only recently ive been accepting of this. 

i am struggling to the point of pushing everyone away.  

[babyshark]

Hey @TOXICONE ,

Welcome to the forums! Thanks for sharing - and introducing yourself here.

If you have any questions or concerns check out the Community guidelines and reach out for help if you need it. 

cheers, babyshark

[TOXICONE]

thank you

[Spirit_Healer]

Welcome, @TOXICONE !

Most of us are asleep right now...

In the meantime, check out: Let-s-talk-about-Bipolar

I'll aim to respond more throrougly during proper waking hours, soon!

@babyshark @Shaz51 @BPDSurvivor 

[tyme]

I hear you @TOXICONE ,

Welcome to the forums. It's not easy reaching out to a community of strangers to share what's been going on for you. 

Pushing people away can be seen as a form for coping. A way to protect yourself and seemingly others. 

I have a diagnosis of BPD, and know first hand what it's like. 

Please know you are not alone. I see through your post and see that you are doing the best you can to cope and manage. 

Here for you.

[Spirit_Healer]

Hello @TOXICONE ,

I'm in hospital this and next week, and was just told by the psychotherapist that I have PTSD as well. I have already been diagnosed with anxiety and schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type). So very similar diagnoses to you.

Remember that us humans are social creatures. We are wired for connection. It sounds like your 'pushing people away' is therefore a maladaptive response, a reaction to some negative responses you got in the past, when you sought connection. It takes some professional help such as therapy to rewire your brain to be comfortable again with connection. This definitely takes time, effort and discomfort - there is no quick fix.

What specific questions do you have? Ask away!

@tyme @babyshark 

[tyme]

Hey @TOXICONE ,

How are you today?

[TOXICONE]

@tyme  hi thank you for responding on my post. today im struggling a lot with my anxiety and panic attacks. not sure why but they are bad today . i hope your well 

[tyme]

I'm around for a chat if that helps @TOXICONE 

What are things you enjoy doing?

[TOXICONE]

@Spirit_Healer 

hi and thank you responding to my post. 

I hope you're doing ok. sorry to hear your in hospital this week. 

I'm not sure exactly what questions to ask. I just don't know to be honest.

all my life I've been punished and mistreated and now that i have a diagnosis its hard because i got made to believe I was crazy and dangerous and not worthy. but now I'm confused.