Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jane9]

I ask myself how long I will be able to continue in survival mode ,with brief periods of fun and enjoyment together, rather than being in a thriving situation, where happiness is back to being part of my day and where future dreams and goals are worked on Together.

I would really like to hear from people who's partners have BPD issues as well as psychosis. My partner has a bipolar diagnosis but the BPD stuff is what drives me to despair at times with Jekyll and Hyde behaviour that she learnt from her mum in a traumatized childhood.

I want to speak with a psychiatrist about the bipolar BPD childhood trauma combination. Does any free service offer this sort of consult? She'd never want me to talk with her psych.

Jane 9

[Former-Member]

hello @Jane9. Just wondering have you looked at the posts under living experiences. Their are several from people who have BPD, even other illnesses. If you feel up to it, reading some of the posts about 3rd parties might help you look at things from a different perspective. sadly there are no quick cures or single answers. You are not alone though, read posts from others on here when you are up to it as you might feel some support in all of this. I am a sufferer of mental illness and also have a son with a different mental illness. so I can see both situations. I find some relief in reading posts some days. other days I just need time alone. be guided how you feel a day at a time, listen to your heart and take care of yourself. If it is any consolation, I married 2 months ago, my partner of 7 years who knew only too well what he was getting into. I tried to push him away. Just the other day he said to me why is it that you are so happy with your mum sister and sons yet with me you are often sad, lethargic disinterested. My answer "with you I let my mask slip some days because I feel safe with you" other days I put energy in to being bubblier for us both to enjoy our time together. we both laugh a lot together which helps. sorry to go on and on I just really feel for you and your partner. try to make some fun moments when you are both up to it, the simpler the better. that way you have something to hold in your heart on the rocky days. she will give you some beautiful moments when she is able to. big hug

[Pridesmum]

Hi Jane 9, I ask myself the same question constantly. I have twin sons who are both autistic and a husband who is bi polar.  Autistics like routine and everything in place. The boys do not cope well with the mood swings of their father. Honestly after he left us for 3 weeks earlier this year I wonder whether it is worth trying to keep this marriage together.

[Former-Member]

oh my goodness, I am a twin, I don't have autism and have a strong bond with my fraternal twin. we grew up fighting literally every day when we were at home. we are really like mirror twins. Rearing twins is challenging, twins with autism I cant begin to imagine. A husband who is bi-polar and unpredictable would be further challenging. I do hope you have some outside support. I hope that your husband has some support too. I had just finished writing an essay about how numb I felt with my issues and then I read your post. pales in significance. you are a very strong lady. personally I would make a suggestion if you are thinking of separation wait until after the "festive" season. many people separate just before. This time of year affects me dreadfully I know only too well. I wish all of you all the best in your future.

[Jimsbobby]

Hi Mohill, I am Pridesmum from above.need to change name due to recognition by some parties. 

Its a challenge..trying to get Husbands Medes under control. Just as well I only hav to deal one day at a time.

[Tiggeroo]

@Jane9... sad face...

i am guessing the honeymoon period has ended again?

I am honestly not too sure about a free psychiartry service but have you considered a MH support group? even if you go alone to start?

We have a GROW group in our area and my partner and i went along to say hi. He hated it... but what i found helpful... was we met other carers and thier loved ones, who when they explained the challenges they face... it forced him to realise what my life must be like, as in how i percieve our relationship. I think that is what challenged him the most, particularly as he appeared to be one of the more "stable" members in the group, he was force to see what being a carer is like, becasue they dont see it in us...

maybe your partner needs a wake up call, maybe she doesnt want one... either way, you need to look after yourself. 

Big hugs!

xx

Tigz

[Shaz51]

Hello @Tiggeroo, @Jane9, @Jimsbobby, @Former-Member xx

how is everyone today ?? it is great to share and talk together, to share any hints or tips or just to talk  and relize we are not alone

Hi @Tiggeroo, is you partner going back to the GROW group again , hope soo xx