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22-10-2016 10:44 PM
22-10-2016 10:44 PM
Told to lower expectations
Despite utter despair at times I feel I cannot hold to anything but defiant hope.
I have accepted the reality of his health deficits and understand that we will need to make lifestyle adjustments once stability has been achieved.
I just don't know where to start.
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23-10-2016 01:00 PM
23-10-2016 01:00 PM
Re: Told to lower expectations
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23-10-2016 02:07 PM
23-10-2016 02:07 PM
Re: Told to lower expectations
Oh @Former-Member .... I can sooo relate ..... only we are not even at diagnosis yet .... and my hubby cannot see at all that he is unwell, only that a series of unfortunate physical ailments and injuries appear to be afflicting him .... mysteriously ....
Flagging the doctor is all I have been able to do, but even his hands are tied because he has spent five years encouraging my hubby on this path and praising him to the heavens and back over his results, without realising the Jekyll and Hyde (... hide ... hidden ...) illness was developing concurrently.
Really feel for you ....
🌷💜
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23-10-2016 02:56 PM
23-10-2016 02:56 PM
Re: Told to lower expectations
Hubby does not have a firm diagnosis, in an endeavour to diagnose he is now being trialled on another med (the 13th one he has been given - not all at once). We will not know if this one will work until discontinuation of another med is complete and homeostasis achieved.
Hubby is compliant with meds, does not self medicate and has good protective factors for recovery. Conversely he is poor at articulating symptoms and has multiple risk factors for a poor outcome. It was not until I stepped in and put together a concise history of symptoms and meds, highlighting significant events that things are hopefully coming together.
Therapy has proven difficult for hubby, he cannot grasp mindfulness or the relaxation techniques which appear to me to be a groove the therapists he has seen are stuck in and it always seems to end up with the therapist getting frustrated and him feeling like it has all been a waste of time.
Hubby cannot manage our little farmlet and the place is socially isolated. We probably need to move closer to family but this would involve an interstate move. Am not sure if it would be too stressful at present and I do not have the strength to deal with another treating team until hubby is properly diagnosed and stable. Additionally getting the place ready for sale without a lot of help would be currently impossible.
We are not in crisis mode but I don't think we are really in recovery mode either. Decisions made in crisis are rarely good so am holding off, trying to work toward stability instead.
Have other carers found that moving interstate to be closer to family has been helpful? How has the transition gone with changing medical teams? How stable has the patient been when you have moved?
Appreciate your thoughts.
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23-10-2016 03:30 PM
23-10-2016 03:30 PM
Re: Told to lower expectations
We have extended family close by, which will be a support later for which I am grateful in anticipation, but I have heard of others relocating to be close to family for support. If you get on well, that would be invaluable I think.
It is very important that you are supported in your carer role .... Many carers don't understand that until they are burning out themselves, so if you can, please take pre-emptive action by delegating even small things, and accepting all offers of help.
Take care ....
🌷💜
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23-10-2016 03:46 PM
23-10-2016 03:46 PM