I can’t cope

[tyme]

How are you feeling today @Captain24 ? 

Hope your back is better.

Did you go to the beach?

[Captain24]

I’m actually feeling a little bit better. @tyme But I did have an awesome afternoon out. 

There’s a bridge here that goes out along the water and you can walk it. My Pdoc said she wanted me to do it. She even gave me script only pain relief so that I could do it. 

I did it but my feet were numb and I could barely walk when we finished. It was really windy. I’m talking wind that took strength to walk into and nearly blowing you over the other way. 

It was absolutely amazing to see. The views were awesome. Then we sat at a pub looking over the water and just chatted. 

It was way too cold to get in the water. I did yesterday though. 

The weather currently has a feels like 1.9 so it’s freezing. 

[tyme]

I'm just on the Hangout. I'll pop by later. Feel free to join if you're up for it @Captain24 

[tyme]

Sleeping yet?

I'm glad you had a better day today @Captain24 . 

And yes, maybe it's a good thing they wait before any more meds.

Do you think you need another planned admission? Did they speak about it so that hopefully you don't have to wait as long until things are REALLY bad?

[Bow]

@Captain24  💕

[Captain24]

So I just did my first ever art therapy class. I hated it! I even told the facilitator that I didn’t like it. I’m feeling really uneasy after that class. 

I went for a walk along the beach this afternoon. It was really nice. It wasn’t as windy as yesterday so it was a gentle walk. My feet still went numb though. Even with another script only medication added. 

I have booked in with the physio for Friday. Hopefully she can shed some light on the situation. 

We did values in group today. I have noticed that I do have some really good values. I just need to learn to use those values on myself. 

Im not really sure where I’m sitting right now. I was feeling ok and feeling like ‘I got this’ now I'm not so sure. It shouldn’t be that easy to derail me. Maybe I don’t have it after all. 

[rav3n]

Hey @Captain24 totally fair that art therapy wasn't your thing - so great you gave it a go though! 

Glad that physio session is booked, hopefully you'll get some much needed relief. 

Our thoughts are so powerful, aren't they? Sometimes it takes ages to change our minds, and other times - snap! They're changed so quickly! I think it really valid to feel that uncertainty of whether you 'got it' or not, but it does sound a lot like 'you've got this' - you've been learning so much about yourself and your working hard on your recovery journey. it's okay if you feel like you don't 'have it', that doubt may be there but it doesn't take away from how strong you really are.

[Captain24]

Being so easily derailed scares me a lot @rav3n. It makes me worried about the outside world. There is a lot that can happen. Everything is still the same at home. I need to pull strength from somewhere to cope. 

One psych in here (not mine) says I’m only hanging by a string and realises that I’m still in trouble. I’m trying to mask that but she saw through it. 

Im hoping that it’s just that I have been in here too long. At least my Pdoc in here is staying in touch so we can do more med changes. 

I walked a bridge yesterday. It was really painful for me but it was amazing 

 

 

[rav3n]

i wish you didn't have to mask at all, i know how exhausting that can be @Captain24, would you say it was nice to be seen by that psych?

woah absolutely love those views, there's something so calming about watching waves crash. 🌊

[ArraDreaming]

Hey @Captain24