I can’t cope

[Snowie]

Hey @Captain24 

Just leaving some 💕💕and hoping today is going ok

[Captain24]

Thanks @Snowie 

I needed to hear that today. Plus I’m feeling really alone on here right now which is my own fault. 

How are you going today? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 👋🌊

Hello! I waved, then saw the other kind of wave emoji, and was like 'Yes! Cap loves the beach!' ahaha. 

Sorry to hear you're feeling alone hun! Mind if I park my booty next to ya?

[Snowie]

There are times where I feel alone on here too @Captain24 Normally when I feel lonely in my personal life too.

Sometimes it is just nice to have someone to listen, or to know someone is there.

Things aren't great here. 

[Captain24]

More and more I don’t want to be on here @Snowie. Stuff happened last night and I’m sick of it. It makes me uncomfortable to post. I don’t feel safe in here. 

Im sorry it’s so hard for you. Anything you want to talk about? 

Live that wave @Jynx 

That would be nice

[Snowie]

I saw/read what happened @Captain24 last night. I'm sorry you don't feel safe on here.

You need to do what is right for you hon, regardless of others. If that means using this platform to get help and post, then keep doing it. 

Just got a lot going on. Finding it hard to get through the days.

[Captain24]

I didn’t see it all as I went to sleep. But I can imagine and I would rather know what was said @Snowie 

It can be so hard to find a way. I so wish I could do something to make it easier for you. I hate knowing that you’re in pain. I can understand how much it hurts. 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 @Snowie ,

Sitting with you both. How has today been for you?

[Jynx]

@Captain24 parked! I will be jumping over to PGC soon but I'll still keep an eye on ya, don't worry. 

I'm with @Snowie - I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) you do get a lot more positive experiences out of the forums than you do those not-so-fun moments. We would miss you terribly if you left! 

What has today been about for you? You have group or anything?

Also hiiiii @Snowie! Sorry to hear that you're riding the struggle bus, anything you wanna get off your chest hun? Here for ya with hugs-a-plenty🫂🫂

[Captain24]

So I definitely have a new psychologist. @tyme @Jynx @Snowie so that’s good.

I’d really like to stay 2 extra nights so I can have an appointment with her before I leave. I’m hoping my Pdoc comes in tonight so I can sort it out. 

Yeah. I’ve had plenty of good times and yes they out way the bad but it just keeps happening and I’m just not ok with it. There is nothing I can do to stop it other than disappear. But I’ve got something else happening so I’ll see where that takes me. Im lacking in confidence with that. 

Yeah. I had group and the facilitator we had today is my new psychologist. So we had a little chat. I didn’t really get much out of group because 2 of them were talking philosophically and I’m too dumb to keep up. 

It’s left me feeling really unworthy and like I have failed. Thats my schema raising its head!