Hypomania and hypersexuality

[Spookums]

I was diagnosed Bipolar 2 many years ago now but, honestly, I haven't had to much problems with my hypomanic episodes. They tend to be short lived and widely spaced. 

However I am currently struggling with perhaps the must intense episode I have ever had and I don't know what to do because I am not at home and don't have access to any of the resources I usually would. 

Worst is that I seen two be experiencing hypersexuality and u dinner know how to manage it. I can't focus. I can't sit still. It is all I think about. It is about 1,000 times worse than when I was a teenager. 

Bad timing, too, as for the past few years (after giving birth to my child) my husband has repeatedly told me that I'm too fat and need to lose weight, which means I don't really enjoy intimacy with him anymore and am just increasingly frustrated. 

I haven't really had this happen before. Any tips on how to cope? Even things you think I should AVOID would be helpful.

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Spookums thank you for sharing your experiences with the Forums.

Sounds like you are going through a tough time at the moment, and I'm sorry to hear that you are away from home and don't have your usual coping mechanisms. 

I'm not an expert in this area so I don't necessarily have the answers for you to get you through. Distraction is a good all round coping technique that you could try if you haven't already. Like a movie, listening to some music or reading a book. Perhaps you have someone that you could call and have a chat with.

Have you talk with anyone from Relationships Australia or similar to discuss your relationship with your husband? 

I encourage you to continue to stay connected with the community as other Members may have had similar experiences.

Take care

RiverSeal 

[Captain24]

Hi @Spookums 

I have bipolar 2 as well. My hypos are mainly contained. I do have experience with hyper sexuality too. I have done many things that I regret. Some I’m ashamed of. 

For me it’s about avoiding alcohol as it increases inhibitions. I don’t drink anymore at all. I don’t have much else as I just live on my own and spend the time I’m not at work at home alone. 

I just wanted you to know that I understand and have been through it. You are not alone. 

Im so sorry that your partner is like that it must be hard. You are you it doesn’t matter what size you are you are still a valuable human and should be treated as such. 

[Spirit_Healer]

Hello @Spookums @Captain24 @RiverSeal 

I have schizoaffective disorder with bipolar tendencies, and I experience hypersexuality, too.

It has been really challenging, more so in my teens and twenties, as it was all new and I didn't understand my mind and body.

I'm in my thirties now. It's not as scary because I recognise it as a symptom of my illness.

But unfortunately, each presentation of a relapse is different. This time, I found myself acting on my sexual impulses, and I slept with someone I was intensely attracted to. My best friend is worried about me getting hurt emotionally, once I'm back to my normal self.

So I've decided that this was a one-night-stand, and I have stopped pursuing this man, sexually.

But, just because I recognise it as a symptom, doesn't mean it's easy.

For you, I think the main thing is: if you trust your husband, then be open with him about how you are feeling. Everything, if it is safe, including and especially the guilt I imagine you feel around your weight and how you fear that he does not feel attracted to you in the same way, anymore. (Sorry, I'm making assumptions, please do let me know if these assumptions are wrong.)

In terms of being away from home, could you do a web search to find out what services are available where you are? If you're comfortable letting us know which state you're in, we might be able to help. There's always a way to contact SANE helpline between 10:00 and 20:00, they may be able to help, as may other charities, such as Bipolar Life Victoria. Just Google them.

Things to avoid: 

Porn. Contrary to what you might think, porn makes it worse, not better. It increases your desire and thus your frustration when you can't meet the unrealistic standards porn sets for the layperson (us). 

Body-shaming. This could mean, unfollowing users on social media who make you feel worse about your weight.

Anything that decreases your self-esteem. There is enough challenge in your life, without having to feel like you're unworthy, unattractive, etc. Surround yourself with positive people and messages, and you will start to notice the beauty in yourself, and life.

Hopefully these tips will help get you started. Any further questions, just reply to this thread and tag me!

[tyme]

Thank you @Spookums for raising this topic. It sounds like it's a very important topic and many others can relate to the challenges you are currently experiencing. 

It was great to be able to read @Captain24 and @Spirit_Healer 's insights too. Thank you for sharing 🙂

[Spookums]

@Spirit_Healer @tyme @Captain24 @RiverSeal 

Thank you so for your comments. I was feeling so embarrassed and ashamed.

Still having these symptoms, but I managed to pull my husband aside and try to explain to him what was going on and he was a lot more supportive than I was worried he would be. 

Thank you for the practical advice regarding alcohol and pornography and body image stuff. It may seem obvious, but I am really struggling too think clearly at the moment so I hadn't considered any of that stuff.

[Captain24]

Hey @Spookums 

When you are in a manic state you don’t think clearly. That’s the problem with it. The stigma is that it’s all a lot of fun but it’s definitely not. That’s why they worked on try to minimise the hypo before working on the depression. 

Don’t be ashamed you are not the only one. I hope that helps knowing that others have been through it. I know it’s easier said than done as I also feel the shame and have t ever admitted it on here as to how bad it can get. 

Im glad you had the talk with your husband and that he was supportive. I hope it helps with your episode. I’m hoping for you that it’s short lived.