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14-06-2019 08:36 PM
14-06-2019 08:36 PM
Don't know how to move forward
I'm retired and live alone, no regular friends, but a few from my past from time to time. Despite high quality psychiatry/psychotherapy I have not recovered from my bipolar disorder. I have tried to get companionship through activities but over the last couple of years I have found myself unwelcome in groups because I am still a child. I am in the process of letting go (as a child) of my psychiatrist and he will shortly be going on leave. I cannot find new things to do and having had to leave various groups I have lost my confidence in joining new ones. I spend more and more time at home alone. Recently I have been doing clinical pilates but have had to leave because of getting attached to the instructors.
I don't know what to do with myself and whereas I used too have energy from mania, these days I am more depressed.My psychiatrist urges me to make more people contacts (which I need) but I am unable to do this. At times I feel quite deperate.
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14-06-2019 08:57 PM
14-06-2019 08:57 PM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
There are various threads on the forum to talk about different interests, anbd gradually get to know people.
Its great you found (and probably paid for) good psychotherapy.
I have struggled a lot with groups and can be a bit childlike at times. Possibly I jump in too quickly.
Take Care
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14-06-2019 10:11 PM
14-06-2019 10:11 PM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
Thanks for sharing your story with us @BronH and sorry to hear you are feeling like you don't know what to do with yourself. That sounds really tough.
Your psychiatrist may have already talked about how good self care is just as important for building confidence. What kinds of activities and hobbies do you enjoy when you are alone?
Making quality relationships takes time and energy and many adults experience difficulties making new friends, particularly beyond traditional environments like work, etc. Some people have found it helpful to join a group where the main activity is physical, as a way to take the pressure off needing to talk or make direct personal relationships. Have you thought about joining a team activity, like netball, dragon boating, or orienteering, for example?
Jump in to some threads if you're able and hang out in the social pages, you're amongst others who understand.
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15-06-2019 02:32 PM
15-06-2019 02:32 PM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
hi @BronH I spent 7 years in total isolation with no friends or family due to my mental illness. Then I spent 2 years going to Meetups, trying to meet new people & develop new friendships. It was very hard and I failed a lot, often felt emotionally injured - like you I am very much a child in my emotions & attachments, But with persistence and good meds, I did develop a few friendship circles, now I have an active socail life and supportive friends. I'd suggest going to Meetups & being persistent over a long period of time, there are some lovely people out there but I had to work hard to find them.
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15-06-2019 03:12 PM
15-06-2019 03:12 PM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
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15-06-2019 03:40 PM
15-06-2019 03:40 PM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
Thanks Ali11,
It can be hard getting the energy to do my hobbies when I am depressed - I seem to lack concentration. I do have hobbies - learning French, reading and playing music. I like your selfcare tip - it makes sense to me.
I have done physical activities - they seem to go okay at the gym where the instructors leave you alone. Recently in a yoga class the teacher got more involved and I ended up leaving the class. Not quite up to team sports but they sound like fun.
Thanks again for your post.
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16-06-2019 09:22 AM
16-06-2019 09:22 AM
Re: Don't know how to move forward
It can be hard to have the energy or motivation to do hobbies but making sure that you have a routine can help with that. That's interesting about the teachers with physical activity, why do you prefer to have less help with that?
Have you managed to check out the activities put on by your local council or library? They sometimes have different classes that are generally free or low cost which will help increase your social activity.