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21-03-2017 07:41 PM
21-03-2017 07:41 PM
Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away last year.
I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop whom im now a carer for my mum together and making sure everyone needs were met.
But now its really hitting me.hard. and im having so many regrets about what i should have done whati should have said what i should have changed. I feel selfish alot of the time because every now and then i would go out with a friend and i really regret it now.
My nan had many illnesses including cancer so i went to all of her appointments and made sure she was ok.
It hurts me everyday. I miss her so much.
I get alot of flash back esp of the year before like Christmas and birthdays easter and all the rest of the occasions.
She was in a wheelchair and home oxygen 24/7 as she had bad lungs from copd.
So it did make it hard for her to go out when she was getting worse
I get flashbacks of the night i stayed at their house and i heard my pop completley break down and found my nan slumped in the wheelchair in the bathroom as thats how she got around
She was so weak and couldnt even hold herself up so i had to while calling am ambulance calling my who was 10 min drive away and help pop keep it together. It hurts me every single day.
I also have the last memory of my nan in the hospital amd as i was leaving she gave me a little smile and a wave and off we went.
She died 2am that next morning
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21-03-2017 10:40 PM
21-03-2017 10:40 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
Sounds like you are missing your nan who you loved very much.
Would you like to talk about something she did that made you feel special?
Darcy
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21-03-2017 10:45 PM
21-03-2017 10:45 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
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21-03-2017 10:54 PM
21-03-2017 10:54 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
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21-03-2017 10:58 PM
21-03-2017 10:58 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
I tried to make her feel special all the time.
But i have so.mamy regrets of what i shoukdve done or what i could change 😞
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21-03-2017 11:19 PM
21-03-2017 11:19 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
Someone once told me that feelings of grief are like the waves at the beach. Sometimes they come in high and rough and knock you for six, other times they are ripples.
It hasn't been long since your beloved Nan passed away and the pain is still quite raw. Is there something she did at Easter that you might be able to carry on the tradition with in her memory?
Darcy
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21-03-2017 11:57 PM
21-03-2017 11:57 PM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
It is late, I have a big day tomorrow and am heading for bed.
Take care possum
Darcy
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22-03-2017 08:32 AM
22-03-2017 08:32 AM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
Thank you for all your help and advice. I really appreciate it
No we didnt really celebrate easter in a special way but maybe i could start a new one and maybe light a candle for her on easter?
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22-03-2017 08:48 AM
22-03-2017 08:48 AM
Re: Carers guilt/grief-trigger warning
Darcy