Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm currently living at home.
I am not working at the moment.
I can't drive due to my meds.
I haven't had time to travel very far because I spent most of my early 20s caring for someone who died.
I'm currently seeing a new psychiatrist after the last one fucked me over. She has hope for me and has reduced the medication that has caused a lot of problems.
I know my name says hope but I feel like a no hoper.
I feel trapped.
Has anyone expericed anything similar?
How do you move on and start again?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member

Wow .... that's quite a list .... 

You have made a commitment as a carer for many years, and the person you were caring for has passed over now .... there must be grief reaction in there somewhere too ...

I have felt stuck ... trapped .... and I'm sort-of trapped in a holding pattern at the moment now, unexpectedly caught with a husband suffering an undiagnosed eating disorder, amongst other things it seems, and deep in denial along with it ... for seven years now.  Steep learning curve in that time ....

There were many circumstantial stressors in my life prior to that ... 3 children under 2yo (who plans for twins ??) .... one born with a disability, major surgery, major health issues for first 7 years ... in-law issues, workaholic hubby ... more and more ... wont go on cos all that is behind me now ....

All I can tell you is to keep swimming .... life doesn't stay the same and you will come into a better place with time and perseverance.  

Post on the forums here for a while.  You will meet new people, many of whom have encountered similar circumstances or issues to your own, and you will find you are not as alone as you might be feeling at the moment.  You will find advice, compassion, cameraderie, and company on the trail.  I will tag you from our coffee corner ... come and meet some others here and grab a virtual coffee, tea, hot choc when you feel like it.

Welcome to the forums.

🌷💜  F&H

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Former-Member

Meds are tricky to get right. Sorry you had a bad experience ... we have to get wiser with our shrinks. When I was young I was too open, bared my soul but didnt assert much.

Yes I have had many of the experiences you posted about.

Maybe there are some ways that you could claim your early 20s .. as a developmental phase .. that we all need to pass through ... It was great you were there for your loved one ... 

Early 20 is also a time to be a bit experimental and footloose and fancy free ... 

Eg I went to some free salsa meetups ... for a couple of months .. just to get into the feel of being part of a dance scene that was not sleazy night clubs .. It was good and I got a few things from it, being parntered by all sorts of people ... there were also some gay ladies there .. it was fun and took my mind off things.

It doesnt have to be the same .. but something you would like to try .. 

[Lunar]

Hello @Former-Member,

Wow thank you for sharing, it seems like you are a very selfless and caring person to dedicate such a long chunk of your life to care for someone, I think that is something to be extremely proud of and no doubt you have learnt some pretty amazing life skills from that expeience.

As now is a big transition time as the person you cared for has gone, a new psychiatrist and new meds, it might just be a matter of taking small steps towards the kind of future that you want. So taking each day as it comes and doing small achievable things that help to make life a bit better, are there things that you want to do with your days that you weren't able to previously, things for yourself such as exercise, music, reading, studying, seeing people, etc?

Lunar