Alone and struggling

[outlander]

i am struggling that i have no one to turn to when i need help, when i just want to go out, when i want to discuss a shared interest even something as simple as watching a tv show we both like and gossiping about it. 

it sounds childish as i write this but everything i do is by myself. i live alone, have no friends, i work by myself due to the nature of my job and it being 1:1 supports. 

i feel like alot of my friends on the forums are also not here either which is probably a good thing but it all feels different. 

i guess im just having a day where im missing everyone who is important to me 

[Gremlin24]

Hello @outlander. I hear you are struggling right now. I'm sorry you feel so alone, it can be hard when we don't have m others around us to share things with. 

I'm around if you'd like to chat about anything, there's always an ear here to listen 😊 

[outlander]

i think im just tired @Gremlin24
i am tryingto manage intense hallucinations the last few days mixed with chronic pain and some irritations from surgery. im wearing out and ive only been back at work for 2 weeks

[Gremlin24]

@outlander that can be tough especially that you are only still getting used to being back at work. I hope things ease for you soon. 

[outlander]

im probably doing to much at work to soon causing more irritation on the internal organs @Gremlin24 i had my review the other day and got all my results which has said there was alot more work to do when they go in there then first expected.
i dont really even enjoy working anymore but its beter then siting at home alone all day i guess

[Gremlin24]

@outlander are you able to cut back on your hours a bit while you are still recovering? I know you only just started back but maybe your body isn't quite up for too much just yet. I'm sorry that you don't enjoy working anymore, is there an option to look for something different to do for work? 

[outlander]

i cant drop back to many hours as im out of sick leave @Gremlin24 im doing the easier shifts but starting to lift more walking frames etc
i dont really want to stop helping people but i am to tired and unmotivated to change careers to be honest. at least right now anyway. its a struggle to look after myself let alone others

[Gremlin24]

@outlander that's hard when you are out of sick leave. Are you able to talk to them and let them know you are struggling with overdoing it, maybe they can put you on lighter duties for a while? 

I worry about you burning yourself out and your recovery is going to take longer cos of it. 

[Appleblossom]

Hugs @outlander 

I only saw your posts now and you have probably logged off.

please know I respect your courage and commitment 

you persevere despite challenges 

it is really hard to live without supportive friends and family. It’s hard to connect when dealing with physical and mental health issues. You are doing all the right things.

wishing there is a change for the good soon…

[outlander]

im already on the lightest duties as possible @Gremlin24 like working nights, minimal bending or lifting. i think my job is alread in jeopardy as it is. ive lost so much work and theyve replaced me with all but one of my clients now. if i complain or ask for more light duties i think ill be out of a job

i am so burnt out. burnt out in everything i do. i struggle to even get out of bed. if im not at work then im in bed. i have no motivation or enjoyment for life