Hello @yggdrasil ,
I have anxiety, bipolar and C-PTSD.
@RiverSeal has already made some good points about acceptance.
Here are my responses to your questions:
How do you accept that you have a life long severe mental illness?
How do you accept that you need to take medication for the rest of your life?
The answer is in your question - as @RiverSeal said you will need to keep accepting at the decision points in your life. I believe your acceptance will come at different choicepoints in your recovery journey. Each choicepoint you reach, you need to choose to move towards your values, rather than away. It takes self-compassion and non-judgement to accept.
Once you accept, then you can take actions towards recovery. Medication compliance is an essential protective factor against relapse. It's like your doctors say: "keep taking your medication even when you feel well", because it is keeping you well, even if you don't realise so.
How do you keep yourself from questioning and changing or stopping your meds over and over again, with negative consequences?
Find a psychiatrist who you trust, and then actually place your faith in their hands. As I just said, compliance with treatment is key to recovery. If you don't trust/agree with your treating psychiatrist, you are entitled to a second opinion from another psychiatrist.
How do you know your new baseline, your new capacity? How do you accept that it’s very different, much lower, than before?
It takes time and careful observation. Keeping a journal can help. You could also log your moods either in your journal, or on an app like 'How we feel' or 'eMoods'. Over time, you will be able to see patterns.
It's been a journey of years to decades for me to come to terms with my decreased cognitive abilities - in my case, my logical reasoning and money smarts have taken a dive since my first episode of illness. I have to consciously show myself self-compassion and non-judgement. Some days I still get into the 'why me?' pattern of thinking, which is unhelpful.
How do you know what it means when you’re healthy? How do you know that the way you’re feeling is actually your new normal and not another episode?
In addition to journalling and tracking your moods, I would suggest compiling a Crisis Management and Relapse Prevention Plan.
The sections on it could include:
- Early warning signs:
- What I do when I'm well (green)
- What I do when I'm deteriorating (yellow)
- What I do when I'm in crisis (red)
2. Distractions for when I'm overwhelmed
3. What my carers can do to help
4. Contacts:
- Carers
- Health professionals (Psychiatrist, Psychologist, GP, etc.)
- Crisis lines (SANE helpline, LifeLine, etc.)
- Psychiatric Triage Service
@tyme
Hope this gives you some practical ideas you can use!
