Life and trauma

[MJG017]

Hi @Gremlin24 

I think sometimes it just helps to get those thoughts and feelings out of our own heads, to just be heard.  I'm so sorry to hear about the horrific things you've had to deal with but if it helps to share some of what you are dealing with her then feel free and I hope that it can give you some small peace.  You deserve so much more, but every little bit helps.

It seems with so many medical/health things these days that when someone because a bit too difficult or will take too much time, they're just put in that basket.  I'd say it sucks, but it's so much more than that.  Even saying it unfair, cruel, and neglectful just doesn't seem to do it justice either.  'Inhumane' is getting closer, but sadly the current systems in place that people desperately need seem to be so very broken.

With the amount of pain and abuse you've had to endure followed by the neglect when trying to seek support, it's just heartbreaking to hear.  But the fact you've been through all of this and are still seeking help and support says so much about your strength.  So try to keep leaning on that as much as you can, and we're here to support you however you need.

[Gremlin24]

Thankyou @MJG017. The system is definitely very broken but i also know how complicated mental health is and its not a one size fits all situation. 

Each day is getting harder for me to just keep pushing through and it's extremely exhausting constantly having to fight yourself. 

[MJG017]

@Gremlin24  I totally get that!  When we are fighting some incredibly tough things, we just don't have much, if anything, left in the take to take on other fights!  Sometimes we just need to just do what we can to get through each day.  Choose the fights you're up to and save others for later.  Just do what is best for you right now, even if it doesn't feel like much.  Even if a day doesn't seem to have gotten worse that the day before, take that as a win.

[Oaktree]

@Gremlin24 @MJG017 

So sorry to hear what you have been through. I also experienced sexual and physical abuse as a child. I also experimented with self harm and had a very close call with a suicide attempt in 2009. I don’t have any answers for you but I understand the guilt and shame that you probably feel. You should look at either Sane’s guided recovery program or Sane’s recovery club. Recovery club has been super helpful in empowering me

[MJG017]

@Gremlin24 @Oaktree 

Yes, the Recovery Club has been very helpful for me as well.  Some people just sit invisibly in the background and listen, so there's no pressure at all if you don't want to actively participate in a session, or just want to use the text function rather than talk.

[Oaktree]

@Gremlin24 @MJG017 

Hi Gremlin, sorry to have to ask but I was wondering what pro nouns you use. I am she/her

[Gremlin24]

She/ her @Oaktree 

[Oaktree]

Thanks @Gremlin24 

It just helps me not to have to make an assumption 

[Gremlin24]

@Oaktree so sorry to hear what you have been through aswell. My suicide attempts were 3 years ago and I was doing ok for a bit, I didn't self harm for almost 2 years up until recently when I lost control for a moment and that was all it took. I'm trying to get through this and I do have the support of my doctor at least, but they know all too well where things are heading.