Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

[Former-Member]

I can give up now

[outlander]

Hate living. What is the point. Doesn't seem worth it anymore. Cant do anything right anyway.

[Former-Member]

I am lost in a sea of bad memories in the emergency department (not si or sh)  switching alters, fading in and out. I just want to go home 

[outlander]

@Former-Member im around if you need

[Lostandalone]

I am around too @Former-Member if you want to talk

[Lostandalone]

Sadness overwhelms me

its ruining my life

i just wish I knew where to turn

to make everything alright 

the tears just keep on falling

every morning every night 

the world just keep revolving

oblivious to my plight

i cannot find my smile

i am no longer me 

if I dissapeared

would anybody see 

wish I could sleep forever

so the negativity would go away

but I guess this is just me

For another day

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[Former-Member]

I am safe.. Just want/need to get this out.

I am scared, scared that my body has cancer. I have been trying extremely hard to eat very healthy foods. But I am eating so much junk food as when I feel sad and emotional that is what I seem to crave. Its not good because it can make cancer grow all this junk.

Sometimes I just curl up in a ball. There is no one I can share this all with. And it feels so very heavy. I cannot do this. Alone and scared it was I feel tonight. 

They wanted to remove a part of my body. But I wanted to see if I could heal myself. 

I  am tired anyway to keep going. As I don't see a reason to. The sadness is here. I think I hate myself. Hate me for not being stronger, not being whoever it is I am supposed to be. I don't even know who I am. I don't feel connected to anyone. I do have a son, and it hurts my heart to how much I have failed him. I want him to have a loving mother, what that is strong. But I am not. I don't even know how to help him.

Feel myself going into the detached place. Pretending all is okay. But I long to share with someone. Not for advice I don't think. But just so I don't have to carry this all by myself. The scared feelings. 

If the pretend sense is here. Like burry my head in the sand... then I can live or exist in some other way. A sense of unrealness.

[Former-Member]

I am safe.. 

Well I woke up, some part of me didn't want to. I am now remembering that time I knew I was close to God. That day I ran on the beach. The upper place is what I call it. As I ran, it was like all the burdens, all the pain, fear and sadness fell off me as I took each stride. Freeness.. I am not even a runner. But it felt like my body did run almost effortlessly. I want to go back there. I ache for it. I cannot do this life otherwise. I don't want to be here. Only the upper place is life, I felt a sense of aliveness . A sense of belonging. Like how I dreamt a home should be like. I was not alone. He came to set us free. Is this what  He meant. The upper place I was free, no longer carrying all rhe stuff. 

[Adge]

My Surgery Wound has split (again).

It was suddenly painful – so I checked, & that’s what had happened.

The surgeons had not Steri-Stripped that half of the wound – there was nothing to hold it closed.

I’ve been given no follow-up nurse visits (after hospital) – I’ve been left unsupported, to deal with wound-care myself.

I’ve just done an emergency trip to the Chemist (for advice) - though they did not look at the wound Split.

-They sold me Steri-Stripps, to hold it closed.

When the Surgical wound Split (2015), which happened after my 3rd major Bowel Surgery (Reversal Op) – it caused a major Hernia.

The Hernia meant I had to have another (4th) major surgery (insertion of mesh) – so this scares me, it’s very triggering.

Adge

[Former-Member]

The sounds of the cars, each slightly different 

their tyres hitting the bitumen over and over

The phones ringing, messages going off

People, oh my there are so many people

Some lost in their own thoughts

Some having loud conversations on their phones

Some have coffee, the noise of their cups so loud

The giggles of the small children

The sound of the sprinkler in the park going around and around and around 

The sirens keep sounding.  
I am living a nightmare today