You have done a remarkable job to get to this day and feel it all but know it will pass @CheerBear. Others find it hard to know why these anniversaries affect us year after year. We are the only ones with the damage and chaos created from someone which was out our control (but still we tell ourselves we should have known or did things differently years after the event).
I kind of said a glib comment the other day and regretted it afterwards. It’s ok to be in your nest today and share with those who get it and feel the feels you need to. Grief and trauma will always need some gentleness and kindness and being able to be in a nest until it’s passed. I hope with each year that passes it is a little less intense but I imagine those dates of anniversaries will stay with us for a long time and while they do it’s ok to not be ok on these days. This is for today
My DDay anniversaries are always filled with guilt and shame and should haves. They are when i remember my friends that were his victims that have not got justice as well. I’m sure yours are very different but you will have specific memories that come with today. My hope is that become a bit foggy over time for you.
when you have sat with all these very painful, angry, hurt feelings and they have passed I suggest you get a giggle at theses and use them as girl power motivation.
(it may not pass moderation though, so sorry if anyone is offended) They are meant to be a way of rising up again.
Thinking of you @CheerBear and sending love your way. Read your post elsewhere and really feeling for you. Hope upon hope that you get the action you need from your landlord today. 
