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โ28-08-2018 11:09 AM
โ28-08-2018 11:09 AM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@YellowDay fyi if you want to talk to someone just put a @infront of their name and they will get your post ๐
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โ28-08-2018 02:40 PM
โ28-08-2018 02:40 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
Your therapist sounds very wise. I do try and focus on the good side of my boy, I have supported him in almost all his choices and don't try to control him. I would like to enjoy him more, just relax and kid around but he is very intense and only likes talking about certain things. It is hard to forge a relationship around that, but I try. He's vegan so we used to meet at vegan cafes, and so on.
For myself, I just try very hard to take each day as it comes. It's hard not to think about the past and how it has come to this. It's hard to think of the future, it's not how I imagined my life. I read, draw, write and see friends. Next year I will be studying. Each day is an exercise in pain management. Some days I look forward to the end, just get on and finish because it has all been so hard. Other days are better, but I won't be sorry to leave this world.
(I am safe, so please don't be alarmed)
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โ28-08-2018 03:00 PM
โ28-08-2018 03:00 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@YellowDay@greenpea@Appleblossom
YellowDay, I have a similar time whenever I discuss anything with my son. Heโs extremely intense and I have to be very careful with how I frame any topic we discuss or he just explodes and itโs a complete disaster. I just tried to discuss a topic with him this morning and be a realistic but he just exploded in public and we received the customary stares like we are crazy or something. I sometimes just wish he could calm bloody down and just relax and accept other peopleโs opinions but I donโt see this happening in my lifetime!
It a pity you are really down at the moment. I know you said not to worry but your comments sound pretty fatalistic. Please take care and do something for yourself that you enjoy! Itโs great that you are planning to study. What will you be studying? Thatโs sounds like something positive you can do for yourself.
Take care and I send you a big virtual hug
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โ28-08-2018 03:38 PM
โ28-08-2018 03:38 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@Dadcaringalone@YellowDay@Appleblossom and everyone yes I know all about intense ... my pdoc says that my mi was brought about by the stress of having my son when he went through a very violent stage. It contributed to breaking up my marriage, helped to bring about my and my daughters mi.
As for calming down ... I have found his medication has helped greatly and the fear of gettting into trouble with the police impacts greatly on his behaviour. Not saying that we are free of these moments but they are less then they used to be thank god. Study is great YellowDay. I have plans to get back and do some study as soon as my mi is under better control ... in the mean time I practice Qi gong which is like Tai Chi and walk and go to various mindfullness courses to get my mind back to where it was before the universe exploded on my family.
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โ28-08-2018 05:18 PM
โ28-08-2018 05:18 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
Thats great that you are also considering studying greenpea. I think YellowDay will also enjoy that a great deal. I have studied enough for this lifetime but may do another language. Greenpea, when do you feel your mi will be better under control? I also try mindfulness meditation but find itโs difficult when you are being screamed at by your son. I often find I feel completely emotionally drained from exchanges from my son. Heโs very easily influenced by others and then goes off on these random type of manic episodes. I find if heโs very high, not drug induced by high from something else, itโs usually followed by a very low depression. I am sure the medication heโs on is helping some-what but he finds itโs difficult to maintain balance in his life. He then leaves anything thatโs too difficult for him to the absolute last minute and I am the one whoโs left to deal with the subsequent lows his faces because of putting it off until the last minute.
Sometimes I just feel like being completely selfish like my wife whoโs now not living with us anymore but Iโm his only carer left and often feel bonded to this role. When it gets too much, I often just completely bail out and have a day or two to myself. This helps for a while but then Iโm back into the 24/7 carer life being completely drained all the time. In September Iโm starting at a new gym and will try to loose some weight because I feel better about all these challenges when Iโm carrying less kg around.
Just had a great salad.
Stay strong and well.
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โ28-08-2018 05:56 PM
โ28-08-2018 05:56 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@Dadcaringalone@YellowDay@Appleblossom Hi Dadcaringalone when will I feel that my mi is under control .... that is the million dollar question. I am currently seeing a pdoc am on medication (which I loathe because of the weight gain mostly), will be seeing a psych soon and have been doing courses so hopefully with all of that something will give.
I think what you are saying about your son finding it hard to find balance in his life is so true. I find that even though I am doing everything right I still find there is a disturbance best described as a current pulling me here and there under what appears to be still waters.
Good luck with the new gym. I hope it goes well for you and good on you for having a salad in this cold weather. gp.
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โ28-08-2018 08:58 PM
โ28-08-2018 08:58 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
Gyms can be great. @Dadcaringalone The regularity and having time out are other bonuses.
I have been thinking of doing more study, but put off til next year. I need to stabilise current circumstances before adding more weight to my commitments.
Take Care
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โ11-09-2018 09:30 AM
โ11-09-2018 09:30 AM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@Appleblossom@YellowDay@greenpea@PeppiPatty
I finally got into the gym after visiting my son every day in the Adult Mental Health Ward. Itโs so nice to do something for myself! I have the extra benefit of feeling great after the gym. Itโs nice to get the old body working again. This weekend is also for myself as Iโm going to a conference on Buddhism and meditation to present my approach for mindfulness meditation of easily observing my bodily feeling continuously to give my mind a rest from all the hard mental lifting associated with caring for my son with a severe mental illness. Think Iโm going to spend most of my time in the gym on the treadmill and in the pool. Have a great day everyone.
lots of love Dadcaringalone
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โ11-09-2018 10:25 AM
โ11-09-2018 10:25 AM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
@Dadcaringalone@YellowDay@Appleblossom and all who pass by wishing everyone a wonderful day. The weather here is warm and sunny with a beautiful blue sky :). Have been for a walk up the road and am considering doing some qigong in a short while. Dadcaringalone wishing you a sucessful conference this weekend. 'Break a leg' as they say in show biz .
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โ11-09-2018 01:08 PM
โ11-09-2018 01:08 PM
Re: Mentally ill son severs contact
Hello @YellowDay @greenpea @Dadcaringalone
gym & qigoing sound cool.
I am into the garden today.
Cheers