Hi @Fawkes
I'm so sorry about what you are going through. There is definitely a failure here,b ut it is with the health system and not with you. Try to remember that you are not failing, just human and struggling with your mental health and not receiving the help and support that you need and deserve. Try to take some solace in the incredible strength and resilience that you have already shown. Also that your voice and concerns are valid and that the way you have been treated is in no way fair and you have every right to feel frustrated and angry about this failure in the system you are experiencing.
Hopefully you can find some of that much needed profession support somewhere else soon, but I hope reaching out to places like you have here can be helpful for you. One of the things that has really helped me is to try and build a support network around me after finding professional support less 'helpful' that I would have liked. People like the folk here and some other community based places have provided that support for me and have been invaluable in getting my through and extremely tough year.
I also completely understand that it may just be a fight that you feel you can't take on right now, but remember that it's okay to fight for your dignity and what you deserve, by writing complaints, and contacting places like local ombudsmen and advocacy groups to demand some accountability... even if it's just to make you feel better by being heard and the empowerment that that may bring you.
You're not alone and i understand that it must feel like the world has turned it's back on you, but we are her and we're listening and we understand and are help to help how ever you feel might be helpful to you. Keep focusing on looking for those small wins and as I've learned recently, just try to take things one day at a time to get through a clearly extremely difficult time.
