Wives caring for Husbands

[Shaz51]

Hello @lucky, @Former-Member, @BeHappy, @Tatsinda 

[Former-Member]

Hello thanks for thinking of me - i'm probably not your poster girl!

My hubby broke every vow we had, put me into ecruciating debt, other women,  & after 3 years of getting him to a psychiatrist I had to go or get more broken. The property settlement was a joke, he claimed he couldn't work for a year due to the new diagnosis but that was not true. At the end of the day a nurse, me - paid the lawyer to go!

I now have an international student staying bringing in tax free $$ to help with the mortgage, have started a styling business so i can afford to go on holidays, am still working full time, dancing x 3 a week instead of going to the gym (its cheaper!), sewing, sailing, doing Sydney to Hobart next year. Have registered with a dating agency cause the online dating looks horrific, besides I could do with letting the bats out (if you know what i mean!). I laugh out loud a lot. I interupted a suicidal collegue which i wouldn't have known how to do or what to do a year before.

The psychologist I took us to is only a phone call away as I progress & find out who I am now & venture out.

I will always have a special place in my heart for him. love is unconditonal, the relationship however is conditional.

hugs to all

[Former-Member]

Hi Zipper,

I think there is no hardest thing, different challenges are faced along the way.

Going through the grieving process was the first hurdle for me. Grief is a lonely, isolating and confusing time. For us as carers, grief is often recycled when we are reminded how MI impacts the life of the one we love.

As well as dealing with the grief of the illness itself we often have to navigate through mental health tribunals and guardianship issues.

As carers and often enduring guardians we are often involved in treatment decisions and we do ourselves no favours by remaining ignorant about the disorders that affect our loved one as well as learning about treatment options.

Knowledge has proven essential and has helped me accept the reality of our new life. It is important to understand why a drug has been given, what the expected benefit will be, what side effects there are and when is review to happen.

It took a sustained crisis for me to learn this lesson and I am most grateful that one of the doctors my husband saw who told me to look things up.

I got help from MI fellowship (now Wellways). Their carer support person visits at home or in a lunch break if working.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member, @Former-Member

I am not part of a carer support group , but I have done a lot of research over the years

yes it makes it tricky when your Husband has cancelled all help and he decides to take half the meds sometimes and back on the whole meds , so it is a lot of ups and downs

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Former-Member 

hello and hugs @Former-Member , @Former-Member 

@zipper, @colouredlights 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Tootsy , @cheersquad , soo good to see you xx

@Violet , @colouredlights , @Former-Member 

[Tootsy]

Thank you, it’s been a while. I’m struggling today. Hubby had a breakdown last night after a comment I made. How long can I do this for? Surely life can get better but I can’t see that far in the future. Life goes on I guess

[Shaz51]

Here for you @Tootsy if you like to talk about it ❤

@moderator , @Former-Member , @tyme , @Paperdaisy 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Tootsy 

I'm so sorry to see things are so hard today, I'm really glad that you are starting to reach out here as we do have a warm community including members that I imagine can relate to much that you're going through.

If things today do get really hard and you feel it might be a good idea to reach out for some extra support, please always feel free to give the SANE Support Centre a try. We have a team of counsellors and peer workers that can help sit with you and process what you are going through, as no one is expected to sit with all of it on their own. Do take care today 💚

and thanks for the tag @Shaz51 😊

[Shaz51]

Hello @Tootsy are you OK my friend , thinking of you since you sent your message 

I know with my husband,  it is a build-up until he has a breakdown 

👋 @Former-Member