Carer burnout

[Damien2024]

Hi. Im new here. My story started 12 years ago when I began caring for a friend that has MA psychosis syndrome. He was disowned by his family and I took him in, gave him a home, found him work and became his mental health carer. Its a long story but whats happening now is he has progressed from psychosis every few months to constant psychosis. His psychosis consists of vivid delusions, paranoia, violent outbursts, lack of self care, social isolation. His psychiatrist is useless, offering no helpful input. There are new generation antipsychotics available but the psychiatrist isnt interested. Similarly with his psychologist that seems to have given up. He has two GPs, both are out of their depth and just write him medical certs for centrelink. I was senior lecturer in mental health at a local uni, intensive care paramedic and RN so mental health issues are not new to me. Now Im actually living what I teach my students. To make it worse, a centrelink social worker phoned me ( I was getting the carer allowance but cancelled it as it was too much hassle), presumably to check on whether I still met the criteria. I do...average of 54hours a week, every day care,etc. I told her I wasnt coping and the person I cared for was constantly psychotic and his health care team was at a loss to know what to do next. The social workers final words were " so you clearly are not meeting the expectations of a carer". I consider that unprofessional behavior from a social worker. She could have said something like ...are you managing OK or have you talked about this with any of the following organizations...

That pushed me over the edge. I became more depressed, frustrated, suicidal. No one seems to care about the carer and more importantly about the person I care for. I have no idea what to do next. 

[Friendlyflutter]

Hi @Damien2024 

Welcome to the forums!

I am sorry to hear that his psychiatrists and psychologists are not able to provide the help he needs and you social worker dismissed your feelings. 

Caring for others is a huge responsibility that you have been carrying for 12 years. ❤️

More strength to you 💪

I am concerned about you as well, In case os crisis please call lifeline at 131114. 

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Damien2024 

That sounds like quite a journey you've been on with your friend over the years. It must be awful to watch him become more unwell and feel like you can't help. I can't imagine the patience it must take to go through all the processes. Centrelink sure don't make it easy at times either, so I can hear your frustration and worry! 

You probably have a lot on your plate, but if you do need to call Centrelink again, I'm wondering whether contacting the complaints line might streamline your enquiries and also allow you to give your input on how they can improve? I've found the complaints line very useful for being able to deal with nitty-gritty issues and deal with the original enquiry efficiently, too. 

Being a carer is certainly not easy. Knowing when to reach out for support for yourself too is very self-aware and shows a lot of compassion. I hope you're doing ok today? Please continue to reach out for supports for yourself when you need to as you go through this difficult time.   

Carer's Australia is a great organisation and have a range of supports they may be able to offer:

 Home | Carer Gateway   such as respite, counselling, support groups, etc.  

Thinking of you and your friend 🩵

[Megan68]

Remember to always put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help others.

Easier said than done when you are living in such a challenging situation. Do 
seek support from others you need a break and time out even if it’s a short window of time.

Take Care 

[defaultusername]

Hi @Damien2024,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing what sounds like a very difficult situation for both you and your friend whom you care for.

As @Friendlyflutter has mentioned, you have been such a big help to your friend by taking on the caring role, and that shows what a loving friend you must be and is something you should feel proud of.

I am also very sorry to see that your friend's supports are letting both him and yourself down. As for the social worker, that was very unprofessional of them and I think @8ppleTree's suggestion of contacting the Centrelink complaints line (1800 132 468) is a really good option.

I can only imagine the pressure you are under, and you did the right thing by reaching out for support.

If you feel that you need further support, Carer Gateway is a great place to start as well as whichever Mental Health Carers Australia organisation is in your state or territory — https://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/about-us/our-members/.

Here are also some resources that may be of some use to you:

- https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/carer-mental-fatigue-and-burnout 

- https://www.mentalhealthcarersnsw.org/resources/looking-after-yourself/ 

And when you are experiencing thoughts of suicide — Lifeline (https://www.lifeline.org.au/) is available 24/7 via phone (13 11 14), text (0477 13 11 14) and online chat (https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/).

I hope that yours and your friends' situation improves and that you can both find the support that you need.

Take care and try to be kind to yourself.