35yr old Partner is severely delusional and paranoid but undiagnosed and unwilling

[SAD_MAD_n_GLAD]

Hi everyone, I’m new here, although not new to dealing with mental illnesses 😅

Although at the moment I’m at a loss what to do to help my 35 year old partner who is severely delusional and paranoid though undiagnosed.

I’m looking for advice at all, if anyone has been in this experience or similar before..

Our backstory -

I’ve known my man since high school (25 years ago 🤯 ok that makes me feel old) but we only reconnected recently and have been together for 18 months.

He smokes weed and has done other drugs too. I know without doubt it is the weed that brings the paranoia on, as I saw it happen basically instantly after a period of abstinence..

From what I’ve gathered, he’s had delusions of persecution for the past 4-5 years, especially related to his gf’s trying to harm him, but also friends and at times family.

He’s been grsdually getting worse, but this last week I have witnessed a severe deterioration.

He’s never been diagnosed and is unwilling to go to get an assessment. I’ve tried everything I can possibly think of to get him to seem help:

firstly, I fought with him and told

him he was delusional, because he was blaming me about some horrible things that there’s no way I would do!! and at that point I didn’t understand how to speak to someone suffering with delusions.

Then I tried justifying his thoughts, trying to get him to see the flaws in his logic and think rationally. L

Then I just said I will just stop doing what he thinks I’m doing, seeing if that would work?! It didn’t.

I’ve spoken to the mental health line, they sent an ambulance and police and he ran away.

I’ve rang the police to ask what to do, but because of his history (previous dv against his ex’s - who he also thought were trying to harm him) they don’t give a f.

I’ve spoken to all his friends, and they all love and care about him, but no one has the time, dealing with their own lives and such.

His family are just down right ignorant to any mental health problems and think they can PRAY the spirit out of him 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’ve tried taking him to the ED to get an assessment.

I’ve tried getting him to call a mental health support line for some phone advice.

I’ve tried suggesting going to a dr.

I’m seriously at a dead end.

Now he’s mentioning suicidal ideation and things, and has become very erratic, agitated, and has pulled apart all the electrical devices in his house because he is adamant he’s being followed and monitored.

I’m so so so so so SO concerned for his well-being, as well as his families and my own. All I can think of is that recent Sydney stabbing event and how his mental state could turn really dangerous and I just can’t stop until I get him the help he needs!

I’ve got mental health issues myself (anxiety, ocd, depression BPD ptsd) and am so understating and compassionate and empathetic towards him but I’ve never dealt with any sort of psychosis before so this is all so new to me.

I love him so much and it hurts to see him hurting like this. So, please 🙏🏼 I’m hoping someone has some suggestions for me.. anything 🥺

[RiverSeal]

Hey @SAD_MAD_n_GLAD, welcome to the Forums and thank you for reaching out to the community!

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time with your partner and the psychosis and delusions they are experiencing. You are demonstrating your strength and resilience supporting them and sharing your story with your peers. It's so heartwarming to hear that you are so understanding and compassionate and empathetic towards him.

I have a lived experience with psychosis and have a diagnosis of schizophrenia and a history of cannabis misuse. I can understand what your partner is going through and it sounds similar to what I experienced many times over a long period of time. So firstly, there is hope that your partner can recover if he wants and there is support and treatment available if that is what he needs.

There are some contact numbers for your area that I will give you and they are potentially the services that may be able to support you. The is the CATT team CATT – the crisis assessment and treatment team | healthdirect QLD: 1300 MH CALL (1300 64 22 55) FREE — 24-hour specialist mental healthcare, Psychiatric Emergency Centre | Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital (health.qld.gov.au). And some support for you with the Support for carers | Community support | Queensland Government (www.qld.gov.au).

Also here is the SANE Fact Sheet on psychosis which may provide you with more information, so you are more aware Psychosis (sane.org). 

I can understand your concern for his well-being, as well as his families and your own and about the recent events in Bondi can be triggering. People who experience psychosis are very vulnerable and usually need support. Getting your partner some support might help you feel more at ease and start him on the recovery journey. Perhaps talking with the CATT team might assist you in facilitating that support for him.

I hope this information has been of some help for you and please continue to reach out to the community for support.

Take care

RiverSeal 

[Teamme]

I do hope they can get the help they need. Getting the sufferer to acknowledge there is a problem is the hardest step. Maybe you calling the CAT line when things are calmish, then hand  over the phone to your partner may work. If you are in  Qld ambulances are free and can be called for people suffering psychosis but usually the police also arrive in case there is a problem so be aware of that. However if all goes well you will get to hospital stage where they will (or should be) assessed and hopefully helped. 

[GardensHeart]

Hi @Teamme , 

Thank you for sharing this great support you are providing to our members. 

We would also like to use this space to welcome you for joining us in the community. We hope you can find the support you need as well. Please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can do to help you. 

[Teamme]

Thank you. I did want to add, it seems like there is some open communication with the partner so when things are calm is a good time to let them know you are concerned and may have to call for help. That way they will be aware what could happen. And wouldn't it be great if you can agree on that prior. I wish them all the best.

[8ppleTree]

Hi @SAD_MAD_n_GLAD 

It must be heartbreaking to watch someone you care about spiralling down. It comes down to that old adage sometimes, 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink'. 

Your own health, boundaries and safety are important too. If you can speak to your partner when they are coherent, you could let them know that you care, and would like them to take steps to manage their health because you don't feel the situation is healthy. Then, if your partner chooses not to, or no longer is able to, you might consider putting some boundaries in place for both of you, as difficult as that may be. 

Hope you are doing ok.