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  • Author : cheersquad
  • support : 8
  • Topic : Our stories
Senior Contributor
Hi Zipper and others

Firstly this is my first post on a forum about this issue. It's a huge step for me love the feeling of getting some support with people who understand. We are also in a great place at the moment he is stable and is managing it really well so life's wonderful. He takes medication and receives regular medical treatment.

I've been with my husband for 8 years (no children) he suffers from anxiety, depression and OCD. He has a full time job and mostly manages the illness but he has been hospitalised overnight twice and charged twice with a self destructive and illegal obsessions. He has had multiple other legal obsessions that are only bad because they are self destructive in how they are managed. Lucky for him legal issues were minor and all resolved for now with no record.

To answer your second question first. The main impacts are dealing with his disengagement from life with major depression. (I am an extreme extravert and miss him and our conversations terribly I also get no support and become very lonely) The other issue is dropping everything when an escalation occurs. Ie police or hospital call.. and dealing with the subsequent action. I have experienced trauma when he experienced psychosis one night last year when drunk. I also agree with the others the cycle is so hard as sometimes I get scared when things are good as well thinking it's only a matter of time before something changes.

I must admit that I have never found any good support. I once rang a carers helpline who were dismissive as he's functioning and not abusive so what could I worry about.

My key changes and support are 1.share with others I don't tell everyone or everything but have shared more widely. People appreciate it as well as if I say he's sick people don't think it's about them it also takes taboo out if it
2. Don't own it. (To the point that sometimes I don't support enough) my view is that I'm not a carer so when that level of support is needed others in his family need to step in. I also go to social functions as planned if he doesn't come.
3. Ask for help - as above rather than always having to call in sick when he needs support if I can get someone else to do it I do. I use his brothers and sisters the most as they love him unconditionally and don't judge as much. His sister is amazing to vent too which sometimes I really need is a ear to listen.
4.don't sweat small stuff particularly housework. Ie unmowed lawn isn't the end of the world it can wait or if it can't I try and pay someone to do it.
5. Take advantage of the good times and moments. He is my number 1 support I love him and spending time with him. If he has a good moment I take advantage and just enjoy it. Even if it means just sitting on beach reading without talking but still being together (Try and ignore any hurt or issues)
6.don't forget about me. I make sure I have a job I enjoy great group of friends etc..

Not sure if this helps would love to hear anyone else's experience on support groups as when he escalates this would really help.

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