Lived Experience Forum

[Coffeelover82]

Hi everyone. I have only just joined and trying to work out how this works so hopefully this post works! 
I’m in my late 30s and only recently been diagnosed with BPD. 
I joined here hoping to find some people who understand how I feel and to talk to people with lived experience and tips for navigating the journey. Things like:

- stopping the constant thoughts of self doubt and hate 

- Accepting and loving myself 

- Accepting that it’s ok that I am intense, it’s ok that I am emotional etc 

- Learning to ignore judgement from others 

if anyone has any tips or advice, please let me know 😊  

thanks in advance 😊 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Coffeelover82 

Welcome to the forum.

I am relatively new too.

It is good you wrote your concerns and am sure you will get posts.

My only input is about "learning to ignore judgment from others".

Your answer is mainly in your question.

It is something you have to learn. You cannot change others. You can change your attitude to what they say.

Sadly when we open up, many can fix everyone elses problems except their own.

That is why this forum is good. Life experiences.

I rarely open up. Others do not understand. They have so many flippant solutions that change often. No stable ideas.

So be strong. Strong people hurt too.

If you open up, have the mindset they will probably have no good input if they have not lived it.

I stand strong. I ignore the noise. I revert to Sane or Lifeline and the bible as my place of peace

[FTG]

Content/trigger warning

I'm pretty new just be careful who you speak to as people become very judgemental. Esp friends and family, but just always think before you say well I've learnt anyway esp when you don't want things to come out cause it's the way questions are worded at you then you answer and realise after you answer they out did you.

[tyme]

Hey @Coffeelover82 ,

Welcome to the forums!

Please feel free to join the BPD community over at Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script !

See you there.

[ErekarYamatori]

Hi there.

I'm also really new to these forums but I'm no stranger to the way that BPD affects one's self or the affects on anybody who we get close to.

I'm Twelve years deep into trying my best to survive and pull through into some sort of "normal" life. 

I don't have any answers or really any coping strategies, maybe that's why I found myself signing up here?

It sucks that there are other people who know the same demons that I do but I'm always happy to lend an ear to anyone who needs it, isn't that the point of this site though, to be supportive and find support? 🙂 

[Coffeelover82]

Hi @ErekarYamatori 

Thanks for your reply! I completely agree with you. It does suck that others go through it but it does help in a way to be able to connect with people going through the same.

How is your day going? 

[ErekarYamatori]

Yeah it does help with feeling not so isolated and disconnected for way we think and feel.

My day has been alright so far, thank you for asking!

How about your day, has it been okay so far?

[Coffeelover82]

@ErekarYamatori that’s good to hear! 

My day is going really well so far! I am about to go into a session soon with a counsellor. It’s my first time meeting them so I’m hoping it goes well! 

You mentioned you are 12 years into your journey. May I ask your age when you were first diagnosed? I completely respect if you don’t want to talk about it, please just tell me if that’s the case. Promise I won’t be offended! 

[ErekarYamatori]

That's so good, I hope that it goes well for you!

I don't mind talking about it, I was only 17 when the word Borderline first came up while I was in hospital. I learnt the hard way the stigma that's involved and the way that people lump BPD into the "Oh they're super emotional and needy" category. I don't usually tell people irl anymore so it's nice that there's some anonymity here and we can all express what we really think or feel

[Coffeelover82]

@ErekarYamatori Thank you. I’m hoping it goes well too. I’ve met with so many professionals and it’s really hard to find one that’s a good fit for me. So far, I have found one amazing person and I see her fortnightly. The person today is someone with lived experience. It’s my first time in a session with a professional with lived experience so I’m feeling very hopeful about it! 

I know exactly how you feel. All my life I was referred to as ‘too emotional’ 

I don’t tell people irl either anymore. I can’t handle the judgement. Plus, no one usually has any knowledge about bpd so they tend to google it and let’s face it… when you google it, it’s mainly negative things that come up!! 
did you find that the hospital system helped you much with it?