Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mh1]

I am new to seeking support and have always battled through my husband's episodes with schizophrenia.

His first episode was over 20 years ago and will have gone through a range of medications and he is usually completely ok and has worked and maintained fulltime employment throughout.

But for some reason Christmas time seems to trigger him. I can't work out why. We can be with family, without family, travelling or at home, it doesn't seem to make any difference. 

I watch him become quiet, anxious, unaware of what is around him and reluctant to go out anywhere.

Then I wait.

I try to keep him focused on real life, family, enjoying his holidays. 

He seems to have an episode every year at Christmas.

But I'm tired.

I worry about our 19 year old son. He his so accepting and understanding but I worry. 

I'm not sure what I want from this post. Maybe it's just the need to be heard. 

[Former-Member]

Hello @Mh1 

That is amazing that your husband has been able to maintain full-time employment throughout and how lovely your son is so understanding.

Yes, it is tiring and it does seem that people with MI do struggle around holidays/ Christmas, my husband, Mr Darcy is no exception. He has a diagnosis of bipolar ii (although at one stage there was a differential diagnosis of a rarer form of Sz).

Whilst it seems unfair at times, I have found taking responsibility is essential to ensure that I can still enjoy the traditions that are important to me.  I have opted to go to functions on my own rather than miss out because Mr D doesn't want to attend. No subtle hints either, Mr Darcy gets told exactly what I would like as a present from him. (This year nothing has been said as I have not seen anything I particularly want so will be most surprised if he produces anything tomorrow.)

There is a sense of loss/ living grief when seeing others enjoying moments together that we won't experience due to our beloved's MI. I found the antidote for this was being truly grateful for what we do have.

[aussieboi]

I am also new to seeking support and reluctantly involve myself in support groups etc. My brother has schizophrenia and is currently in the hospital as he refuses treatment so this is an ongoing saga.

I remember when I was 19, and I was not involved in the conversations around my brother's treatment, care and recovery which angered me as I had a right to voice my concerns. It's important people feel heard.

[jay2]

Hi.Mh1, This time of year can be very trying for many, many people with MI,This includes myself. The foreboading comes and it goes. Outside influences like the media and people talking about it ,trigger me.  Then is subsides when the media and people stop talking about it. I then come out of my anguish and get back to normal. I think it is a body feeling thing as well as the mind.   I find putting my feelings down on paper realy helps, if you can post it in a safe place like SANE that is even more helpful because you get feedback from others who have been there.   Joining groups if it is your thing can be of a benefit ,with or without the rest of your family ,depends what you are looking for. If you are a loaner you may not like it, if you like being with others ,could be your thing. With groups you have to take the good with the bad.  Leave your self an opening so you can leave if you hate it.  Dont get too connected to any one in particular, move your self from person to person and be careful what you say to others until you know them realy well.   Exercise is of benefit, try walking around the block as a family occasionally, get a dog .walk the dog as a family.  Hope you can get something together that proves to be satisfactory. Regards  jay2

[Former-Member]

How are you going @Mh1