OCD pains

[Shelby1]

Hello everyone

Hope I can find some members who have some form of experience dealing with excessive OCD first hand or dealing with others who have OCD and anxiety issues.

I have experienced first hand OCD since I was a young boy, starting out with excessive hand washing and repeating these actions continuously and never satisfied where ultimately I was convinced something bad would happen should not all of my skin be thoroughly cleaned.

At the time I saw councillors and social workers at school, in turn these type of events had passed as I grew older however I realised in my later years the OCD had manifested in other forms - all relating to loss of control and fear of negative outcomes.

Up till recently I have been in relative control of most of these symptoms in my day to day life, I am now 35, still checking doors are locked and gas is off which I associated as general OCD symptoms but since I recently lost my mother to a horrible form of cancer which for 19 months I was her primary caregiver and myself having covid my OCD symptoms have escalated into my work life. I am a skilled individual and am losing confidence in myself to finish physical tasks as I keep rechecking things to the point of exhaustion. I feel so tired of these thoughts and thought pattern. I see a psychologist mainly for grief counselling and I take an anti depressant which I have been on for over 10 years but I feel I’m losing this fight and really struggling. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 😔

[NatureLover]

Hi  and welcome, @Shelby1 , it's good to have you here. 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. 

I have OCD too (germophobia). I'm glad you have the professional support. I'm wondering a couple of things...firstly whether your psychologist can start some Exposure Response Prevention therapy with you? (Although I realise the grief counselling is very important)

Secondly, we aren't allowed to mention specific medications or doses, but my psychiatrist told me there are some meds which focus more on depression and some which focus more on anxiety. Also, some meds are stronger then others. Something to think about maybe?

I'm interested to hear that your excessive handwashing seems to have morphed into excessive checking instead...or do you still do the handwashing?

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply. 

I hope you find the forums supportive. 

[Shelby1]

Hi @NatureLover , thanks for replying to me. I will speak with my psychologist about ERPT next appointment, also I will see my GP about reviewing my medication as I feel my current treatment with drug brand and dosage like you mention is more suited for depression and general anxiety over OCD.

The hand washing at the time was also accompanied with checking behind things like the toilet looking for spiders and this would be done numerous times until I was satisfied. It might have been germ related and partly arachnophobia but I appeared to have grown out of these both in the following years as I no longer excessively wash my hands and I often pick up spiders to move them out the house. 
I could understand especially now with Covid why germophobia can exacerbate in people with OCD, we live in interesting times and having a mental condition like this does not help at all.

all the best

[NatureLover]

Hi @Shelby1 , that's interesting that you've grown out of the handwashing and fear of spiders! That's great.

Good luck with seeing your psychologist and GP...

[Paperdaisy]

Here with you @Shelby1 I can understand, as I experienced similar with my Dad and my anxiety flared in a similar way. It's good to hear you are having grief counselling, as the things you have to witness as a carer can be really traumatic. You are not alone. 

I hope things get better for you. 

Some threads that might be of interest...

living with OCD during a pandemic 

OCD- behind the mask  

Our-stories/OCD 

Take care 💝

[Shelby1]

Hello everyone 

It’s been a while since I was last here and thought I would not be rude and give a small update to how things are going. I finally caught up with a psychiatrist who prescribed me a different SSRI and since then, whether it’s the therapeutic effect of the medication and perhaps a concurrent placebo effect; it has given me the ability to get back out and achieve things which I was too afraid to consider when on my former medication. In saying that my OCD has not meticulously disappeared, I just have better control now and able to rationalise the fear more effectively in the majority of cases.
There are some additional side effects to endure, also I am on the lowest therapeutic dose and there is an option to increase my dose by 50% however I have a gastro illness called EPI and it may cause havoc with my system but I will discuss this with my gastroenterologist next visit. 

take care