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lorikeetlove
New Contributor

Seeking advice and suggestions

Hello everyone, this is my first post and I'm happy to have found this forum and am hoping it will be helpful. I am married and our 21 yo son has depression and anxiety.  He has been on medication for about 3 years but this was increased  last week after he broke down and called Lifeline due to having suicidal thoughts.  He is also seeing a psychologist, was monthly, now changed to fortnightly. He left school at the end of year 10 and hasn't worked since then but volunteered at a Salvos store for a short time.  He has been registered with several disability employment agencies, none of which proved helpful.  He recently registered with a new one and his coach seems so much better than previous ones and has been quite helpful with regards to training options etc.  He was due to start a 3 day forklift training course last week but he had worked himself up so much mentally which led to him calling Lifeline.  He says he feels hopeless and worthless Smiley Sad which breaks my heart.  At age 11 we had him assessed and what came out of that was that he has a short term auditory processing problem.  Of course, this was a problem in high school as he struggled to concentrate and remain focused despite working with the school to help him with this.  He didn't enjoy school and unfortunately he created friendships that were not interested in learning but rather caused disruptions in class.  Since leaving school, these friendships have gone by the wayside, to our relief.  My son is also a gamer and has made friendships online and I'm afraid these are the only friends he has now.  We also have a 24 yr old son who moved interstate earlier this year and due to the lockdowns, we have not been able to see him.  My 21yo says he misses his brother even though they were not that close when they lived together. My son has been getting the Youth Allowance from Centrelink whilst looking for work but it's now getting to the stage that I'm not sure what sort of employment would suit him.  He is very socially awkward and a little slow in getting things done. My husband knows a guy who runs a new and used vinyl record store here in Melbourne but of course it is not open at the moment due to lockdown.  My son is very much in to music and especially vinyl records so when the shop reopens my husband is going to chat to his friend and see if my son can even just volunteer in there.  I think it would help with his confidence and get him talking to customers etc.  Another issue is that he doesn't like going far from home and when we suggested he come with us to visit his brother when the borders reopen, he said he didn't want to go.  I guess I'm just wondering if there are any other parents here in a similar situation.  All we want is for our son is to be happy and right now he's not that happy. Thank you in advance x

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Seeking advice and suggestions

Hi @lorikeetlove ,

 

I've been that kid. The audio-processing struggles, I relate to particularly. I only picked up mine pretty recently. It's only now occuring to me that maybe the audio processing deficits go higher during times of big feelings. (and here I was thinking that it was just because of me being deficited. Thanks for that.)

 

Avoidance has been my issue and acceptance and commitment therapy has been my main way up. I actually found some good A.C.T. advice, via my algorithm taking me to a gamer psychology channel. Here's a link. It had good insights. Also very "gamer".

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ

Re: Seeking advice and suggestions

Hi wellwellwellnez,

 

Thank you for the link, I will definitely have a look.

 

Take care Smiley Happy

Re: Seeking advice and suggestions

Good evening ; again so many similarities here with your story to mine.  I am that parent too, with a 21 yr old that's struggling to find a spark of happiness.  He lost a close friend when he was 17 in a car accident, followed by a 2 year girlfriend breaking his heart, he's never gotten over the double whammy of it all. Can't seem to hold down a job, find joy, is so impulsive any money he earns or gets from centerlink is impulsively spent.  Def bipolar, depression, anxiety, anger - Dad & I get the brunt of his frustration and anger and volatile behaviour, last few weeks have been a downward spiral.  I don't know what to do anymore. The past 12 months has seen me on 3 seperate anxiety medications which none worked, I turned into a chronic insomniac which made things worse.  I experienced panic attacks.  There's just not enough help or assistance for the kids, or parents.  Now his friends are pulling away, I don't blame them for wanting distance but it's hard to watch someone self distruct with no mates reaching out.  I worry all the time.  I'm so torn with not wanting go leave the house cause I feel like i need to keep a constant eye on him, and wanting to run away into a cave where no one can find me for a few days.  I hate the noise of life.  I've tried the lifeline and text support lines, I've always felt disappointed and let down, all they do is ask repeated questions, or repeat what you say back to u.  I think they are all manned by young very inexperienced volunteers. It's never he,led at all.  If anyone has been successful in getting a place for a few days respite with counselling I'd love to know.  I feel trapped and drowning.  Best of luck to us all I think there are so many of us in the same boat.  (Hopefully not a lifeboat from the titanic) 

 

 

 

 

Re: Seeking advice and suggestions

Just thinning if he’s a gamer, would he be able to go to one of those gaming cafes, he may meet up with similar like minded folk. Or there may be a club or monthly meet up ?
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