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paigeu1
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I don't know who my mum is anymore...

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping someone can help me find answers to my situation.

 

9 years ago my mum and dad got divorced. I was 12 years old and ever since then, they have both hated each other. My mum consistently went on about how my dad was narcissistic, abusive and he doesn't love me or my little brother. For years I believed her, I saw the worst in my dad, but this wasn't the case. I had been manipulated for years. My 16 y/o brother lives with my mum and I live an hour away with my grandparents.

 

My mum and I were best friends, we always had such good fun and I adored her. She was an amazing mother until she started suffering with mental health issues and changed completely. 

 

To make an extremely long story short, she drinks ALL the time. My brother and I noticed she goes to the bathroom for like 20 minutes at a time consistently. My brother found she has been hiding large amounts of alcohol and will drink it when she's in the bathroom. She also does this at shopping centres too. When she gets intoxicated she is a whole different person, incredibly mean and has a victim mindset. She calls people out saying they're abusive when in reality she is the abuser. She is always in bed now and never spends time with anyone. She is not close with any family or friends except for her husband. She always says she's awakened and that she is pretty much more knowledgeable and better than everyone around her.

 

I know she is an alcoholic but beyond that I believe she has either schizophrenia, personality disorder or she's narcissistic. She says she is spiritual but what she's saying is insane. She speaks to ghosts, see's ghosts, speaks to angels and see's them, says she can move objects with her mind, she can teleport, read minds, always says she is so powerful and will become a billionaire with her magic. She said my pops dead father spoke to her and when she told him the story it didn't add up to what his father would actually do or say at all. 

 

This is a brief summary, but she won't seek help. She is not willing to admit her alcohol abuse and doesn't believe there is anything wrong with her. I'm worried that her actions are damaging every relationship around her including mine or she may harm herself. She has threatened to end her life multiple times now, I'm honestly not sure what to do. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: I don't know who my mum is anymore...

Hey @paigeu1 

 

That is a really hard scenario and I am not sure what you can do. Are there any AOD treatment centres around you that you might be able to call and ask for generic help?

 

What happened around the time of your mum's change?  Did she stop working, lose a friend, anything like that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: I don't know who my mum is anymore...

I'm not sure about asking for help from a centre. She isn't willing to help herself. 

She said she's been sexually abused multiple times in her life really badly, and I think that's only true to an extent. It seems to be something new every year or it gets worse and timelines don't add up. I don't think she's lying but I think she truly believes it's happened when in reality it most likely hasn't. After the divorce, she gradually got worse with her mental health and alcohol abuse. This year ive noticed i dont even recognise her anymore. 

I have decided to send her and her partner a detailed email, giving her an ultimatum. So im hoping she will either seek help or i may have to distance myself from her for a while.

 

Re: I don't know who my mum is anymore...

That sounds like a really challenging situation to try to navigate @paigeu1. I'm hearing that you're very aware of where your limits might be, and willing to put in place boundaries to protect those limits, and yourself, which are both great things. I'm wondering what supports you have around you for yourself? There are also options like Blue Knot or Carer Gateway.  1800Respect also has some resources on supporting someone that you may find useful. All the very best and take care, 

 

TideisTurning 💙 

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