I can’t cope

[tyme]

Yeah, download the app and sign up with your home address. When you get to the hill, then type in the address of the clinic and they will send the next available uber. @Captain24  Yeah, it's not too hard.

As for the girl, yeah... it's not a public clinic for people to be scheduled in. They were probably desperate, and this was the only bed.

Hope she's okay.

Anyway, I'm heading off. I'll see you later this week.

Take care.

[Captain24]

She was taken off in an ambulance @tyme.

Have a good night.

talk later in the week. 

[Captain24]

I walked down to the beach this morning for the sunrise. My Pdoc said I have to walk everyday. But I Ubered back up the hill. It’s a fair walk down there though. 

I just got back from going down there again. I saw my psych in passing today and she said I wasn’t to go to bed but I had to go back to the beach. I don’t like letting people down.. the whole fawn response, so down I went. Ubered back up as well. I have to consider my back. 

Im sitting here feeling really exhausted, while it’s a good exhausting, it has me spiralling. It’s dinner time but I don’t think I can do it. 

 

[rav3n]

Hey @Captain24 I can see that today's been quite exhausting for you and i'm proud of you for pushing through! I know that physical pain can make it harder to engage in activities, I hope your back gets better - are you able to get a heat pack or something to help with the back?

That photo of the sunset is absolutely beautiful 😍 i love sunset photos so much and that's probably one of the best ones i've seen during the colder seasons

you're more capable than you think @Captain24! i hope you get some time to rest and recover before dinner time, you got this 💙 

[Captain24]

Dinner has finished @rav3n. If I get hungry later there are usually sandwiches in the fridge. 

I just had a shower and washed the sand off me. It’s gotten so cold here. 

Im hoping that my meds work tonight and I can get to sleep. Last night was a struggle sleeping but the anti-depressant that she took me off helps with sleep. 

I’ll go down for the sunrise again in the morning and I’ll try walking back. Hopefully my back copes. I don’t have a heat pack and there isn’t one here to use. They don’t have them. 

I nearly did something bad on my walk. I need to talk about it but I can’t go to anyone in here as they will revoke my leave and probably make me stay longer.  

[Jynx]

@Captain24 hey darlin, just poppin in to say hi! 

Just a thought, but if you're feeling like you need to talk to someone but you don't wanna talk to the staff there, you could always give the SANE line a buzz?

[Captain24]

Hey @Jynx 

Will they have to report it though? It was my irrational mind not my rational mind. It was like I didn’t know I was doing it until the last minute 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 just to make sure we're on the same page, are you referring to self-harm? As in, you were experiencing really strong SH urges on your walk - and now it is sounding as though you have self-harmed? If that's the case, we'd mainly be trying to ensure that you don't need medical attention, and work with you on a plan to help keep you safe for the rest of the evening. 

If you're talking about suicide ideation and making a suicide attempt, it's a different story though - is this something you're concerned about as well? 

Does this answer your question? Happy to provide any further info you might need darlin. And like, if you have self-harmed and you're feeling pretty down about it, then yeah I'd say that's the perfect time to give SANE a buzz. You could always try now, see if you can squeeze in before they close? 

[Captain24]

I journaled it @Jynx. I don’t journal. Writing it down helped a little. It has taken the edge of it. 

I won’t go into details but I am safe. 

[Jynx]

I'm so glad to hear the journalling was helpful for you @Captain24!! Can feel pretty weird when you're not in the habit, but maybe this shows that it could be a super handy coping tool for you to build a habit out of? Food for thought anyway 😉