Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Nitro64]

Hi All,

I discovered this site today, and am looking forward to hearing other peoples accounts and advice. I'm a concerned sister (32), and would really appreciate it if I could get a better guage on how I can best support my sis.

My dear sis (28) is currently experiencing her 2nd manic episode in under 18 months - her first manic was her diagnosis point - and we're recieving less medical support this time around. She has done herself and her family very proud by recognising the early symptoms this time, and asked to be taken to hospital a little over a week ago (Sunday). She was admitted immediately, after a massive anxiety attack in the hospital car park, and was sedated promptly. The emergency department were fantastic (which is more than I can say for the first hospitalisation - over 2 days in emergency with no bed/admission and no medical assistance). As she was considered only slightly manic (true), she was moved to the hospitals psychiatric unit for observation. Over the 3 days on the ward, her mania heightened and the staff seemed either unwilling or ill-equipped to continue looking after her. I say this as we all witnessed 2 members of the nursing staff unnecessarily aggravating my sister by arguing and cornering her. She was then moved over to a hig-dependency unit at the mental health hospital at 9pm that night (Thursday), and by midday Friday she was given weekend leave to spend a couple of days at home. At the time, even though I believe she was only hypomanic, I don't agree that she should have come home. Saturday was uneverntful enough, but by Sunday she was in her own world again. I contacted the hospital and told them that I would probably be bringing her back in that night, rather than wait for Monday morning as she was advised, and I was told that her bed had been given to someone else for the weekend. So we had to manage. 

My youngest sister (24) took her back to the hospital on Monday morning. We were all told on Friday afternoon that sis was going back on Monday to be taken off her usual meds and trialed on a different medication. We were under the understanding that the transition would be monitored, and that she would stay in hospital until they were sure the mania was under control. Apparently my sister plays the part well - she was discharged at lunchtime on Monday. I was shocked. The doctors had spent all of about 6 waking hours 'assessing' my sister, and she is now at home, largely unmonitored, and still in hypomania. And of course, when I asked my sister about what advice/instructions the doctor had given her on discharge, she either couldn't remember or refused to tell me. I spoke to her 'treating' doctor this morning and he didn't give me much comfort. At one point, he even giggled about the fact that "she certainly pulled the wool over their eyes". In all honesty, I'm a little discouraged by this latest hospitalisation. This time, the family members who see/speak to my sister daily weren't consulted as to her usual behaviour, nor were we asked about her unusual behaviour. Last time she was hospitalised there were family meetings weekly, and update phone calls from her treating doctor. Thankfully, the mental health team in our area is going to visit her tomorrow and will continue for a few weeks, so I've spoken to them today and asked them to be mindful that she will do her best to appear 'fine'.

So, this brings me to a few questions. If anybody is able to offer advice, I will be very grateful - 

1. Has anyone/everyone (parents aside) sought legal guardianship/power of attorney, so that in these events you are legally entitled to information from the doctors? 

2. Can hypomania/mania be safely and effectively managed at home, when 24/7 monitoring is not an option? If this is something we just have to get used to, then so be it. I'm not sure if we have been treated incorrectly by the hospital/s in this instance.

3. Has anyone else witnessed hospital staff treating patients in a far-less-than-compassionate manner, and is it worth contacting the hospital? The original hospital staff are my main concern; for a dedicated psychiatric unit, they didn't seem very well equipped to care for my sister.

4. Am I possibly just being over-protective because I'm a 'newbie' to Bipolar...??

Thank you for reading my long post. I'm sure this will get easier (if that's the word to describe it) as time goes on, but at the moment it's all very fresh and unnerving...

Cheers all 🙂

[NikNik]

Hi @Nitro64 

Welcome to the SANE Forums.

It sounds like quite a journey you have been on in such a small time! Firstly, I think you are being protective of your sister... but it's your sister and you want the best help for her! You're doing such a good job as a family to do that.

This community is filled with people with different experience. I know that @Pen 's partner has been in hospital, she may be able to assist with some of your questions. @hopeful1 has a partner who also has bipolar and has hospital admissions.

@Sister is caring for her brother - perhaps she can help you with legal guardianship? @Annabelle also has a brother with bipolar and even though she's not the main carer (I don't think?) I think she will have some helpful insights.

We also have some fantastic members, who are very open to sharing their own personal experiences with bipolar. Sometimes they jump in here from the Lived Experience forum and share their thoughts.

It might also be worth having a read of this thread in the Lived Experience Forum to get insight from members who've had similar experiences. This thread started by @chemonro is really insightful too.

Welcome again to the Forums 🙂 I hope you find them helpful

[Pen]

Hi Nitro 64, it sounds like your sister is lucky to have you looking out for her & for support!
My husband was in a psychiatric hospital for treatment for his depression. He was there for 6 weeks & I was less than happy with the communication from staff & actually quite a few things that happened. I did contact the hospital and make a complaint & finally ended up speaking to the CEO. I would recommend that you write down with dates & times any issues or concerns & definitely communicate with the hospital or clinic. I think it's really important that family members have a voice in the mental health system & that where they are the ones caring for or monitoring a family member, that they are able to contribute to discussions around decisions being made. I really hope that your sister is able to find appropriate treatment & support.
Take care,
Pen

[Nitro64]

Thank you @NikNik and @Pen for your replies!

I do plan to document the experience and make a complaint to both hospitals as I feel that we were let down by both of them. The care my sister received this time around has been really sub-standard, in my opinion. 

In any case, my sister had a big come-down yesterday, and she's now back at a point of comprehension and is listening to us and asking very reasonable questions again. I'm so relieved that I could pop! Now we just have to suport her until she comes up from the crash. God love 'er! She's on weekend release and very much enjoying being back in her own home. She'll most likely be discharged on Monday morning.

Thank you for the links to peoples threads @NikNik - I found some time yesterday to read through a few posts, and I definitely feel a little more educated now. One thing I found really interesting was that people were posting whilst being aware of being in a manic/hypomanic state. It's really encouraging to know that, with 'mindfulness' and practice, my sister may one day be able to become much more aware of these situations and possibly assist herself! I'm also really interested in helping sis put together a WRAP.

I'll keep reading through threads when I have time. What a great forum for everyone - especially for newbies like myself! 

And @Pen - I hope your husband is well on the mend! 🙂 And thank you for your kind words; DITTO!

Cheers!

[jqw]

I have bi polar.. I personally have found that everyone is so different. I haven't found anyone who has the same symptoms as me. I have been lucky enough that I can tell with mine when I'm coming into a down time, not so much with the highs just realise i haven't needed any nanna naps and Im told Im speaking really fast to slow down.etc lol

i keep a mood journal; for me it is just a rating out of 10 as I'm finding my bi polar is coming at different times of the year now. The few things i can help you out with, the phrase i use is " its like your favourite bra finally find 1 that's just right after searching for how long!" that's what it is like with the dr's counsellors n physc's. keep going till you find the right 1! Getting on the right medication really helps as well. It is just trial n error as everyones body is so different. 

I can relate to being able to pull it off with the hospital staff etc.. I work ft and no one at my work would have any idea. We learn how to act and behaviour to blend in. ive been on meds 4 approx 20yrs and Im finally on the right type for me. The system is so frustrating at times. If you can find a good gp who has empathy for Mental Illness they will be able to point you in the right direction. 

If you can get away with it, i was recorded on a mobile ph video when i was on a real bad downer and wow i couldn't believe i said and did those things. Id been told before but i didn't believe it. That way you can show a gp or counsellor what is happening. Your sister might not care so you could always ask first! 

Happy to answer any of your questions 🙂 i also have a son who has an MI as well..