Lived Experience Forum

[Rockdog]

It has been a year since I lost a person in my life who meant a lot to me.

Over the course of 2 years I developed strong feelings for someone, whom I felt I had a real emotional connection with. I was struggling with life, and they really cared for me and helped brighten my mood.  I developed feelings for them, and wanted to prove I was worthy, and not a waste of time. I thought my feelings  didn’t exist anymore, but their caring manner and a bright smile gave me a warm feeling, and I started to feel better and more confident in myself. Then they suddenly left me, and I question my feelings and if they were real. I have missed her every day for a year, and the thoughts that she didn’t feel for me really hurts. I have been in a dark place, and now realise I need to find myself. The fact that I now feel such pain is really hard to deal with though and I can’t get over it.

[Kyle1]

as human beings, we are wired for connection. We have an innate need to belong. To feel and to know love. 

It sounds like you felt that with this person.

They're not around anymore, and it's a lonely road you're on right now. But you have this with you: the warmth and happiness you know you're capable of. This other person may have brought it out in you - but you get to keep it, even though they've gone.

Expect to grieve. That's natural. It hurts, but it's unavoidable, sorry. Meanwhile this person has left you with a gift: the knowledge that you can feel so many other things besides this heartache, aswell...

Rather than crush you, I hope this experience can grow you @Rockdog  🙏

Take care.

[Snowie]

Hi @Rockdog 

I'm sorry you have had to go through all of that. It sounds like you are having a difficult time, which is totally understandable. 

@Kyle1 is right, you need to give yourself time to grieve. 

I hope in time you can find some peace in your life and move forward from here.

Please use these forums as a support. I have met some wonderful people on here. Even better is we all have lived experiences of mental illness, so can relate to one another a lot easier.

Hope to see you around the forums.

[Rockdog]

Thank you for your message. That was really nice, and I hadn’t looked at it like that. I only saw the grief.

[Rockdog]

Thank you Snowie. It is really hard, they are there for you, and then they are gone.

[Jynx]

Hey @Rockdog just a quick tip, if you want someone to be notified that you have responded, you can tag them using the @ symbol and typing/choosing their name from the dropdown, so it shows up in blue like this: @Snowie @Kyle1 

There's some more tips & tricks here. 

I also just wanted to share with you that there's a wonderful service called Griefline that might be a good support for you during this difficult time. 

💜

[tyme]

Hi @Rockdog ,

How are you? How are things going for you?

[Rockdog]

Hi@tyme

thank you for reaching out. I can’t help going over things. I did ring lifeline a little while ago and mentioned my situation. The lifeline girl says well  she has moved on’ I said you don’t know that’ and she said ‘ well if she had feelings......’ but I hung up before she gave her answer. No one can break my hope 😊

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme,
I am going ok at the moment thanks.How are you going?

[tyme]

Good on you @Rockdog ! You are right - NO ONE can ever break your hope. Hope comes from within. Forced hope isn't hope.

I'm with you on this one 🙂

I've had a really pleasant day today. My sister's in-laws are coming to stay at the end of this week, so I've got some preparation to do (my sister lives next door to me). 

I don't think I've mentioned this, but a guy has finally moved into one of my properties, and he is so grateful to have a roof over his head - he's trying to get clean. Being able to help someone really makes my day 🙂