Far and Away

[Faith-and-Hope]

Everyone coffee’d now @Snowie @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie @Zoe7 ?  

There hasn’t been too much rest-of-the-day @Zoe7,.  I vacuumed today, which was long overdue, but felt good when I was done.  Mr. is all up for having cleaning help ongoing, but I don’t like it.  My lot get irresponsible about cleaning up after themselves, and if everyone was considerate and did a little at a time, it would all get done, but it’s not happening .... 

I have had cleaning help before, but I have generally kept it to floors and bathrooms, and expected the kids to be responsible for their own rooms ..... S2 has turned down cleaning help because he wants to develop that responsibility.  I think we might end up back at floors and bathrooms support in our home space because everything is so chaotic, and with mi struggles and chops and changes everywhere, at least that gives a baseline.  I think it’s time to give way to that, and let everyone worry about their own tidiness habits around it.  When / if we move to the bigger home, I will keep my bedroom out of the cleaning looo, which I have done before too, to keep a sense of my own space and my own way of doing things.  It just doesn’t feel like home to me if there is not a sense of privacy and ownership of how we live .... but hubby’s people cone from different values there, that’s been part of his switch.

That turned into a bit of a race, didn’t it ?!

[Zoe7]

I fully understand that sense of ownership and privacy within the home @Faith-and-Hope Having someone come into 'my space' would not be something I ever considered - some similar reasons as you but also that home is my safe place and having someone come in would make me feel uneasy. Unlike you there is only one of me however so I don't have to worry about cleaning up after others - and to that end if the place is not tidy it is only me affected also. 

Having someone come in to do the floors and bathroom could be a good compromise - and take a couple of things off your plate. I also agree that your baby dragons (and Mr) should be responsible for their own mess - it makes it so much easier if people clean up after themselves. It is good that S2 wants to be responsible for his own area  Everyone being responsible for their own area and own tidiness in the smaller place would hopefully lead to them being just as responsible in the bigger place (fingers crossed for you on that one). Developing those good habits now could only help moving forward for you all.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Getting floors and bathrooms done also helps to show up who is leaving stuff lying around too @Zoe7 , because their stuff ends up being piled up out of the way of the clean-up.

i used to buy cheap laundry baskets and use them to dump the kids stuff in if it was left in the way if normal household clean-up, after a “grace period” and then stack those baskets in the hallway or their bathroom for them to rummage through to find whatever they couldn’t find, hoping they would learn that it’s not the easiest way to live ..... it took having a couple of dozen baskets, because they didn’t get blitzed until school holidays. When they asked to go somewhere or do something, I asked them to put a basketful of stuff away first.  By the end of the holidays I generally got all

ny baskets back, and then the cycle started all over again.

It’s interesting to see some of them reaching for the basket system now as adults. 

[Zoe7]

Just read all about your Mum and what is going on for you too @Shaz51 So much going on for you and so much for you to think about. The primary focus needs to be on your health my sister - your wellbeing is so important here. We need our Shaz51 around 

[Zoe7]

That sounds like what I used to have to do at work @Faith-and-Hope The kids would 'clean up' for me and we would end up with things packed into boxes - which I would subsequently take home and sort out. Most of it was art and craft stuff though.

It is funny to know the kids are doing the same kind of thing now at your place - they picked it up from you so have learnt something along the way.

I am off to bed - started the increase in meds tonight and they are affecting me already - so hoping I will sleep a bit better tonight. Feeling quite light headed too so lying down is the best option right now rather than pushing it any further. It will probably mean I am up super early but I do want to go into work early so that won't matter much.

Hope you can get an early night too and tomorrow is a good day for you. Hugs incoming from Cat and Toby and a super big one from me 

[eth]

Good morning @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51  and anyone else here this morning.  Missing catching up for a chat lately, but have had a busy few days and a bit less time on-line in the spaces between things I needed to do.

@Zoe7  I wanted to reply to you in more depth yesterday and now can't find your post that I wanted to respond to.  Hearing you have a new med balance and hoping the adjustment goes well.   That you slept well and feel refreshed for a good day today.

@Faith-and-Hope  getting someone in to help with cleaning would be a big challenge for me too for a couple of reasons - the loss of privacy and the sense of scrutiny/fear of judgment.  But for you it sounds like a great idea if you can do it, even just floors and bathrooms, as you have so many contributing to the mess and a busy life already.  I always resisted the language of getting my child or partner to 'help' with the household chores, as it implies that it is the duty of the one being 'helped' - when in reality, especially when they are young adults, it is everyone's job.  I like the sound of your basket system. 

Hope your course is going well and you are enjoying it.  

@Shaz51   Haven't caught up with what's going on for you, but sending wishes for you to have enough space for self-care amidst all the care for others you do.  

Love to all of you xx

[Shaz51]

thank you my wonderful friends @Snowie , @MDT , @Zoe7 , @Faith-and-Hope , @eth 

mr shaz is sooo worried about his S3 at the moment , he is not sleeping well

this afternoon father and son are texing each oher === ayyyyyyyyyy

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope Just home and have a fair bit to do this evening and then more to do over the weekend. Next week is a big week as it is parent-teacher interviews all week and I have said I will be there for them with their usual teacher as well. I also have appointments so I really need to get the whole week planned this weekend. We also have a special day organised for all preps to 1/2 classes so that is extra to get organised. Feeling a bit overwhelmed this afternoon with it all but the more I get done tonight the better I will feel. I did not get anything done yesterday so it really is my own fault - but sleep and rest was more important yesterday as I was still not feeling well. Felt much better today and the kids were great - noisey still but they are improving.

One of my kids had a 'toilet accident' today but she handled it very well - and so did the rest of the class - that actually made me smile that they were all so caring  There are trauma issues with her so it is not unexpected and that made me even more proud of how she handled it. She had already had a pretty teary breakdown earlier in the day but after some time out she bounced back really well. She is definitely my hardest student to deal with because I have to keep one eye on her and one on the rest of the class but her Mum came in this afternoon and said she is really happy having me as her teacher so that was a relief. She came and gave me a hug this morning too so that shows she is comfortable with me as touch is something she does not like - huge win. I like the kid too and certainly have empathy for her situation - but of course no-one else there knows just how close to home it all is for me. This is one of those cases where my experiences actually help as I know very well how hard it is for her.

Well that was a bit of an essay  How has your day been?

@eth I felt much better today but didn't have a great night. The increase in night meds did help me to get to sleep a little earlier but was up with a stomach ache in the middle of the night. That had passed by this morning and the light headedness had gone also. Will get over to the other thread and read about your day eventually - hope it was a good one for you 

@Shaz51 It is good that Mr. Shaz is talking to S3 and I hope after talking to him he is able to sleep a little better tonight. Did you have a Smoky visit today my sister?

@MDT @Snowie @Sans911 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Teej @CheerBear @BlueBay @Maggie @Former-Member @Sam3 and all passing through ... hope you have had an okay day - sending you all love and hugs 🧡💛💚💙💜

[Shaz51]

ohhh you are awesome my sister @Zoe7 , sooo proud of you xxxx

yes smoky had his cuddles today , but he is losing patches of hair from his body , the vet says it is from stress , so they tried medication but smoky vomits it back up xxx

[Zoe7]

Oh poor Smoky @Shaz51 I hope there is something else they can give him to help him out. It is horrible when our fur babies are not well and not nice for you either seeing him every week  It is great that you got lots of cuddles in today - sounds like you both needed them 😺💜