Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

[Former-Member]

Now had the thought I will no longer seek out him. I will not give my heart out again until I know he will treasure it. I do not know if this is right thinking or not. I will try to figure out how to go back to the upper place. That is my true home, my heart belongs there. 

[Former-Member]

I am safe

Had thoughts of ending my life tonight. I don't want it. Don't want to keep feeling the pain and loneliness anymore. I am trying so much, but I can't anymore. I can't fix my messed up sad life. He hates me. I no longer want to be near him, because it just ends in more pain and sorrow. I am stuck. I just want a happy marriage. That was my dream. One of my only dreams in life. But its not happy. Part of me desires it to work but I cannot make it work. I cannot relate or understand this man at all. No matter how hard I try. There is no fun, no smiles, not hardly sharing meals together. no sharing of hearts, no intimate connection either mentally, emotionally, or physically. There is nothing. Just sharing the same house. 

[Lee82]

I am trying so damn hard to put what happened yesterday behind me but it is too hard. They still have power and control over me. I am pathetic. I am weak. I feel him all over me. I feel like it's happening all over again. Flashbacks of his face won't go away. That disgusting smile. I want to just go to sleep and forget all about it. Can't stop the tears. Can't stop feeling unsafe and in danger. My heart won't stop racing, my hands won't stop shaking. I am a bloody mess. 

I have injured my leg pretty badly running away. I think I have done some damage. I am in a lot of pain physically and emotionally. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I am so done...they have won! 
I am safe I am just done. 

[Eve7]

I hate having this mi. It’s eating away at me and every day when I fail I just sink a bit lower.

I went to the ed today and they jus pushed me in and out as if treating my sh was more contagious than Covid.

Take this mi away...just saying

[Former-Member]

Wish you knew me, my family, my world... that way your positive words would be louder than those misrepresenting me irl.
I don't know why I'm treated like a leper, depression and MI stigma I guess. There's very little unconditional love in the world 😢

[Former-Member]

these ongoing messages from people I love drives SI They want me dead. "Don't be stupid + paranoid" you say... well, my only sister tells people she doesn't have a sister. If I call her out on her gossip - she declares me 'delusional' and tells everyone else the same.
I know I'm responsible for my own happiness, it's just not so 'happy' without love.
Did I tell you not one of my x4 brothers bothered to attend my girls funeral. And test, more recent, my nephew married and I wasn't even told let alone invited. Don't they know I pray for them, I love them and wish them well? I don't understand the world, why I've never belonged here. Makes me wanna go to heaven.
But I don't need SOS pH numbers emailed to me, just have to vent this swirling toxic mind cloud out. Thnx. Just thoughts 💔

[Former-Member]

I'm so ashamed

[outlander]

why do drs blame everything on mental health 😞
even with actual tests results its still always seems to be my mental health 😞

[Snowie]

why do you talk to me like that and say those hurtful words

why can't I sand up for myself

why can't I be stronger

why do I give in to my thoughts

[Former-Member]

Had a wonderful morning with 3 of the kids and hubby, so amazingly wonderful I forgot my MH issues for the longest time. The joy and gratitude for D3 and all her efforts to surprise me has sustained me most of the day. But boy the crash back to my reality was cruel, now this morning feels like a lifetime ago. Starting to think that allowing myself to take in the joy and happiness for that time was a cruel mistake.