Just checking in.

[Teej]

Just checking in @CheerBear . I could join you and @Sans911  I think. Life sucks all round. 

[CheerBear]

Hugs @Teej and @Sans911

[Teej]

Anything happened @CheerBear ? Or end of year craziness out of control with everything on your plate. I’ve been awol and don’t have much clue what’s happening. 

You dont need to talk either. I could so a quiet drink just now. I haven’t many words left but just hanging with people feeling as :pile_of_poo:ty as I do in silence would help. 

[Teej]

PS in reality I’d suck at sitting in silence without fixit brain trying to help.....but I could learn 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:

[Sans911]

Come join me under my invisibility cloak @CheerBear. No one will see us under there. 👥(closest emoji I could find to invisibility)

[CheerBear]

Flipped out a bit tonight with something. When all were asleep I called somewhere. They tried to brainstorm how to deal with it tomorrow but I know how to do it, I'm not sure I want to which is why I called. In a way I wanted someone to step in I think. Not many times that's come out of my mouth (fingers).

I'm sorry you're feeling :pile_of_poo:ty teej. Wondering if it's something or everything but also thinking you'd talk if you wanted and talking is hard without words left.

Your invisibility cloak and your emoji made me smile sans ❤

My words could very easily pour with stuff tonight that sensible head wouldn't want me to be saying, so I'll head off. ❤ to you both.

[Teej]

Night @CheerBear, @Sans911 .

My stuff is mostly my property stuff and ex but also questioning myself and feeling like I have no clue what I’m doing in this world. I feel like I f*** lots up always. 

Hope you both feel a bit more human tomorrow and get through the stuff coming up. 💜🤗💜🤗

[CheerBear]

Hugs for all looking for their human (@Teej maybe), under an invisibility cloak (@Sans911 maybe) and struggling through some stormy weather (lots of us maybe)

[CheerBear]

I told my psych that I was struggling to get and do what I need and needed someone to step in and help. I've never done that before. We spoke about options for a break and it got too hard for me to think about so he asked if I'd like to be 'affectionately sectioned' so I didn't have to think anymore. He's given me a couple of hours to decide what I want in a referral or he'll call it. It feels like this has escalated really quickly but maybe it's been there for a bit.

I feel so weird. Default wants to go to how much of a giant backwards step this is and how it will take forever to get over and I'll never get back to where I was and how selfish this is of me. But there's another part that's telling me that working with this not against it, recognising I'm not OK but wanting to be OK, putting my hand up and asking for help etc is good and is actually a step forward. There's part of me that's feeling relieved. I'm tired.

I'm trying so hard to tell myself what I'd tell others which I'm sure I believe deep inside. It's that I'm not a bad mum, I'm not crazy, I can and will be OK especially if I accept some help, I'm doing the right thing in noticing this and in asking for help, my kids don't need to understand. I'm tired and I've been through stuff and I need a break like any other human person would. And it sucks that it's this time of the year. It sucks so, so badly. If I could I schedule this in for a better time I would but I can't.

I hate the wonky of recovery. It really sucks. But maybe this is backwards progress, maybe 🙁

That's where I'm at and where I'll be if I'm hit and miss for a bit here.

[Gazza75]

@CheerBear 

Your a wonderful Mum and definitely not crazy CB.

I think it's better for you to make a decision yourself and not sure why the psych would impose a timer on you for you to decide.  Seems like thats unfair pressure. 

Would you be comfortable with a friend or stranger stepping in for you?  Would your eldest be able to do it for a while?  My concern would be the time line and how long you will need.  Can you take a time out at home or do you need more than that?

I really don't know, everything is diffucult when you have other people to consider and take into account.  

Lots of good wishes CB, wish I had some wise words or suggestions for you.