Lived Experience Forum

[Karrie]

So it has now been 12 months since I started my journey after the death of my sister (ending a 2 year period of 4 family deaths).  The first anniversary was last Friday.  Now whilst the day was extremely difficult and emotional, having the whole family around helped.  They have all now gone home and back to their own lives and I am sitting here typing this and realising how much I miss my sister.  

On top of this work is not great with so much time sensitive pressures.  Adding to that the behaviour of the kids (I'm a secondary teacher) is getting worse by the day.  I mentioned to the school how overwhelmed I was feeling and now it feels like they think I am totally incompetent and are micromanaging at every turn.  

I have amazing supports in place and have therapy once a week.  I am just really struggling to stay motivated and get stuff done.  I feel like I am falling backwards down a black tunnel and am getting further and further from the light.  I know I am not back to where I was last year but can't help but think the kid's behaviour at school particularly, has the power to send me back there.  

I am not really asking for any advice or anything, I think I just need to vent.  

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Karrie 

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing multiple family members in such a short time is incredibly difficult, and the anniversary of your sister's passing must have been especially hard.

It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially with the added pressures at work, I imagine.

Grief is a heavy burden, and feeling unmotivated is a normal response. I’ve also lost loved ones, and those significant dates can bring back intense emotions.

It’s good that you have support and therapy in place.

Take things one day at a time, and be kind to yourself.

You’re doing your best, and it’s okay to lean on others when you need to.

You’re not alone in this.

Sitting with you ❤️

[defaultusername]

Hi @Karrie,

Thank you for sharing.

I am very sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time at the moment.

That must be hard to have all that pressure from your workplace affecting you so much, it's a shame that they can't be more understanding of your situation.

I'm happy to read that you have a great support network in place and are attending therapy regularly, I've found that I am my best self when I tap into my support network — they can be the best safety nets if we allow them to be.

I can sense how distressing that must be for you, to feel as though you're so overwhelmed you feel as though you're falling…

Remember that you're not alone and that we are here for you whenever you need to vent.

I hope that tomorrow is better for you.


Be kind to yourself,

defaultusername

[ArraDreaming]

Hi @Karrie
Firstly, I just want to say well done on reaching out.

You should be extremely proud that you have put yourself out there and asked for some support and share your story.

I am sorry you went through a string of painful family deaths, I sadly can relate to that, I have lost both of my parents and a sibling, although a lot further apart than 2 years.

I am really glad you have supports in place and you have found a place like us to vent, I am around quite a bit and happy just to chat, even if it’s not what your dealing with mental health wise, some company and moral support through this time is valuable.

Are you working full time?

[Karrie]

yes i am